John Shmeed

smoking, gaming, gambling, drinking, and hating. In that order

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Drank 4 weekends in a row. Not drinking this weekend out of respect for 5

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

I’m SO back

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

@DamarHambulance Crazy I find out someone is from Pittsburgh bc I recognize a girls massive rump in a hinge photo

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

You ever walking behind someone and you can just tell by the way they walk that they 100% watch anime

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Boss talks for 2-3 hours and doesn’t listen to my suggestions on how to do things. Pays me 100k for nothing

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

House of the dragon fucking sucks

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

10 weeks no weed doesn’t even feel that good

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

@kirakosarin Can we get married

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Women just gravitate towards my friend. Like wtf am I doing wrong

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Pitcher #3. Let’s get to work

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

You can’t larp the levels of chud I am

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Cant approach women irl and can’t get anything good with hinge. Im stuck in hell

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Why give us the worst announcers every game?? @FOXSports @FOXSoccer

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Swamp ass been crazy lately

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

I hate chud larpers

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Friend put my number on the check at the bar and waitress bf texted me telling me not to do that #whatdatmean

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

@negev_on_b Hell yeah

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Just don’t understand how vini jr doesn’t take either of those penalty kicks

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

@Exquisitegirls_ She single?

[John Shmeed @MustardGooch]

Can trump please organize a B2 for the flyover on Monday