?⃞

[dead, again @mothmortem]

sorry about the blood. the last person who came to my temple of worship was crushed tragically by a falling rock because he failed to bring me little cakes. you did… bring me .little cakes didn’t you.?

[holden m. accountable @noahpasaran]

ME: fuck, this spreadsheet is going to be unreadable

ENENTARZI (Sumerian accountant whose soul is imprisoned in my Excel program): O great scribe, by the blessing of Nadu, perhaps a pivot table?

ME: hey thanks man

ENENTARZI: Truly this afterlife is a wondrous and blessed one

[hb @h3xenbrenner2]

(consulting an ancient tome) pass me the torch... let's see... my sanskrit isn't what it used to be.. hang on .. yes.. it says right here... you're gay

[yosuba @coolfunnnn]

porq era tan genial la torta no!?!! no es demasiado genial!=!=!=!?!?

[lyris 🥞 @tragickly]

every single day I'm shot and stabbed and disemboweled and defenestrated and hung and crucified and drawn and quartered at my job

[Klara @klara_sjo]

The creator of ChatGPT is named "Altman," as in "alternative to human" and he leads OpenAI, which is completely closed.

His main opponent is the company Anthropic, meaning "human-centered" is led by "Amodei," as in "loves gods".

Then there's "Gemini," meaning "two-faced," from a company that said that it will do no evil.

Brilliant work as always Kojima!

[فیرہ @amorsmontage]

My country getting attacked by Taliban and this blackpink album is still the worst thing to happen today

[acervo WJSN | WAGTD @ujungacervo]

"i'm gay" "i'm straight" well im really really unnatural

[perfect angel @girl__virus]

conversations are so fun because the other person is always lying and trying to trick you and deceive you and kill you . it's like a game

[stupid idoit t @peeholelicker]

if i Had a boyfriend i would act really fuckign crazy and Then ask him if he thinks im crazy

[?⃞ @mxetwt]

i have no memory of writing this tweet what is wrong with me

[?⃞ @mxetwt]

what the hell is kpop even about

[vivian ˚୨୧⋆｡ @universerene]

🚨BREAKING🚨

Zohran Mamdani will FORCE all new yorkers to have MANDATORY listenings of Red Velvet's discography, including solo and subunit releases. What are your thoughts on this!?

[Kyle Mann @The_Kyle_Mann]

If the Stranger Things writers wrote Lord of the Rings:

GANDALF: OK, so we've got to put the smackdown on this Ring thing. It can only be destroyed -

GIMLI: Don't worry - I got this. *hits it with an axe and falls* Ow.

GANDALF: - in the fires of Mount Doom.

BOROMIR: I just don't get it. Why can't we just fire this bad boy up and use it against Sauron? Boom. Headshot.

GANDALF: OK, so, think of Sauron like this Atari. *Clears off pedestal and slaps down an Atari and a copy of E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial.*

GANDALF: Now, if we destroy this copy of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, we might think it's gone forever. But -

ELROND: - but Atari still has the source code.

GANDALF: Right. *starts drawing on a transparent whiteboard* - But, if we destroy the source code -

LEGOLAS: ... the existing copies could be buried in a landfill, and they'd eventually go bad from corrosion.

GANDALF: Exactly. Destroy the source code -

ELROND: - destroy Sauron.

BOROMIR: Great. So how do we destroy this Source Code Ring? It's not like we can just hop on our skateboards and shred into Mordor.

LEGOLAS: Hang on though. If we gave the Ring to someone small enough -

GIMLI: - Sauron wouldn't be expecting it -

ELROND: - and we could chuck it right into the fire while he's busy trippin' over Minas Tirith.

GANDALF: - and then -

LEGOLAS: - no more E.T. *finger guns*

BOROMOR: It sounds crazy, but it just might work.

FRODO: Guys, I'm gay.

[🌈 choweder the Gargoyle King @CornChowderCat]

Yea hi so it look’s like u have sashemi . Thats intchesting

[dev @shaun2sheep]

huh i wonder who the winner could possibly be

[apples @applesartt]

Happy 15th birthday!
#mylittlepony