D. bitch

I'm the mayor of this town, I run a business of repute-

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

mfw somebody at the table mentions appetizers

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Oh boy oh no not a shirt-off poop at work

[Reductress @Reductress]

Nice! Woman Who Used to Be the Smart Sibling Now the Poor One: https://t.co/JjenFLOKPi

[Liam Fennessy @LiamFennessy_]

“I deeply regret…”

[jegævi @jegaevi]

There's an abundance of free porn on the internet. Removing women's clothing with AI is something much more sinister. It isn't about horniness, it's about control. These men find joy in violating women and taking their agency away.

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

Not the best year

[Reductress @Reductress]

REPORT: Woman Who Knows Exactly How to Make Herself Feel Better Doing None of Those Things: https://t.co/0HfXP27Yge

[Four Loko @fourloko]

Back at it with another Four Loko Friday RT for a chance to win $20

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Went to McDonald's for a McRib and they "opted out" and in my sorrow I reached out to a friend
This is the only correct response

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Accidentally said "Jack off" in class today
("What was Jack off doing while...")
It took a full 2 minutes to stop the laughter

That was coming exclusively from me

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

With the phone ban kids are learning to use landlines at school to call parents and it's been painful:
"Whats an area code?"
"Can you look up my mom's number?"

"It's making a sound!"
"The dial tone?"
"But I haven't dialed yet! "

"How do I hang up?"
"... hang it up"

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Scrolling through the men on the @BacheloretteABC this season and know for a fact this will be a front runner if not a winner simply because his New Jersey will perfectly match her Utah

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

I got drunk and did a Halloween photoshoot with the dogs and this morning I woke up to this I can't breathe

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Sometimes when I'm sad in the morning I draw a dick on my face with concealer

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

Why do i gotta do the diner on hard mode took a gummy and suddenly im holding the fork in the wrong hand tf

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

4 loko and gum: girl dinner

[D. bitch @myspace_orYours]

My mom downgrading her (OUR!!) hulu account to ads version is a true recession indicator