Dracula Flow 4

Deep thoughts, deep thoughts, yeah take me back to November | INFJ | He/him. | 26.

[Dracula Flow 4 @Nahomatic]

What if you
Wanted to go to a pizzeria
but god said

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[Zizi (DoltSlop CEO) @zizirobinson]

…the concept of what

[Soup @Sniping_Soup]

Bad day to be a hotdog

[L’Apey @ouiouiapey]

Smoking crack with an alien named cracksmokulon

[PointlessHub @HubPointless]

*Foghorn Leghorn voice*

I say, I say give me a beat boy and free my soul

[Pisser Dick @PisserDick_]

Off the smirnoff ice talking like Coach from left 4 dead 2

[e l l a 🇨🇦 @blondehotcoffee]

just drove past costco

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I went to In-N-Out and ordered a cheeseburger. The cashier, a calm young woman named Destiny, asked me a question I did not expect.

"You want that Animal Style?"

I paused.

I did not know what this meant. But a samurai does not admit he does not know. So I answered with weight.

"...Animal Style."

"Cool. So that's mustard-grilled, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles. Yeah?"

I understood now. This was a sacred permission. For one meal, I was being told to put down my manners at the door. To eat the way a beast eats, without shame. I had waited my whole life for someone to give me this order.

"Yes," I said. "I will become the animal."

Destiny did not blink. "...Okay. You want your fries Animal Style too?"

I stopped. Even the potatoes?

"The potatoes also become animals?"

"I mean, they get cheese and sauce and grilled onions, so..."

"Then yes. Let the potatoes abandon their restraint as well."

"...Got it." She was the calmest woman I have ever met. "3x3, 4x4, or just the one?"

I did not know these numbers, but I knew a challenge when I heard one. "How many must I face?"

"It's, like, how many patties you want."

"How many is the most honorable?"

"...Four is a lot."

"Then four. A warrior does not ask for fewer."

She wrote it down without argument. A 4x4, Animal Style, with animal fries. She warned me once, kindly. "That's gonna be huge." I told her I was counting on it.

It arrived. It was a tower. Cheese and sauce ran down my hands the moment I lifted it. There was no clean way to eat it. There was no dignified way. That was the entire point.

I ate it like a beast. Both hands, no honor, grilled onion on my chin, and I have to be honest with you, it was the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.

For thirty years I have kept my manners at every table in the world.

They handed me a burger and told me to be an animal, and I have never felt so free.

So tell me, America.

The whole country knows the secret menu. What else are you hiding in plain sight?

And "Animal Style." Was I eating the animal, or finally becoming one?

[Dracula Flow 4 @Nahomatic]

@DustBunnyDHCP

[RT @RT_com]

Famous gorilla Kiyomasa falls into deep contemplation after spat with mate — caught on camera in Japanese zoo

[jimmy tijuana @WaxinGibbonz]

Ts goes so hard man I fucking love Trey Surtees

[Rob Van Gogh @HighLifeSenpai]

Imagine if we locked in as a society and Put Jeff Hardy in a Tony Hawk game as a hidden character

[weather @dsxf234161]

"my deadname isnt that common"

withered trump:

[Manlet Thorin @ManletThorin]

“Property values are tanking!”

“Sorry, gramps. I don’t have a ‘dog’ in this fight”

“You don’t own a home?!”

“Let me be ‘frank’ with you. I can’t afford one.”

“You must not work as hard as I did!”

“Kiss my buns.”

[Chris @citehchris]

can you die from a lack of being called big dawg