Carolyn Laflamme

Someone who truly loves you, sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, and how hard you can be to handle, but still wants you.

[Linda Donaldson @opeshcherov1]

Everyone has one friend that they secretly hate.

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

Looking down my timeline and thinking "Stfu." "You're ugly." "This bitch can't spell." "Who cares?" "Stop lying, when did i follow you?."

[Flora McCoy @grechishko_ms]

The weirder you sculpt your facial hair, the less likely I am to put you out if you're ever on fire.

[Dora Phillips @LipalinYaroslav]

I hate when people tell me to calm down when I'm not even mad.

[Karen Reyes @chuppueva1]

Boy: "Want to hear a joke about my dick? Never mind, its too long." Girl: "Wanna hear a joke about my pussy? Never mind, you won't get it."

[Betty Smith @manazypov]

Our Sears closed. Our Kmart closed. Our JCPenney might close. I'm running out of places to shoplift.

[Guillermo Douglas @volnotepovadzh1]

Sometimes when you are arguing with a fool, he's doing the same thing.

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

Never get married in college; it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake.

[Iola Rittenhouse @PotorakVip]

Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution, b*tches be trippin.

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

Nicki Minaj: Pink hair. Katy Perry: Blue Hair. Rhianna: Red Hair [&] Lady GaGa: Green Hair. THE FREAKING POWER RANGERS ARE BACK!

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

If you can't win the argument, correct their grammar.

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

"Quick operator send an S.O.S!" Operator : "How do you spell that?"

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

My biggest fear is to look out my window at night and see someone staring back at me

[June Williams @NiyarMynova]

When someone rings the doorbell why do dogs always assume its for them?

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

Those girls on "My Super Sweet 16" that get pissed when daddy buys them the wrong car. B*tch, I don't even have a bike.

[Wanda Hitt @chumovatova]

Finally found my wife's G-spot when I grabbed the handle of the vacuum cleaner.

[Dorothy Pettigrew @ikyzajche]

"In my defense, Your Honor, humans ARE animals too. Personally, I think you should blame the petting zoo sign for not being more specific."

[Carolyn Laflamme @Namuna82]

That awkward moment, when someone get hurt and you laugh ,then you realize that its serious.

[Helen Shumaker @GSlabkovich84]

Being lied to hurts, especially when you know it's a lie and especially from someone you love.