Natalie Johnson

Finish your cereal, go outside.

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Who keeps letting these frat boys buy captain hats, seems illegal

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

#ねこあつめ

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

I just learned that according to the journal of Hitler’s personal doctor, he suffered from “Colossal gas, the likes of which he has never seen before” hahaha

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

One of my cats just made a poop so stinky that the other one went in and made sure it was properly buried

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Thinking I’ll drink a bottle of wine and clean the apartment. I guess this is 25? 🍷

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Can someone tell me a situation that is more stressful than taking someone’s laundry out of the dryer, frantically shoving in your wet clothes, and getting the hell out before getting caught in the act???

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

AFTER DRIVING MY CAR FOR EIGHT YEARS I JUST FIGURED OUT HOW TO SET MY RADIO CLOCK TO THE PROPER TIME!!! SOMEONE BUY ME A DRINK!!

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Big ole thanks to Sarah aka the angel of @jameson_us for the free shots at the Cold Comfort show!! Long live whiskey!!

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

So I just drank 16 oz of milk... ready for a thunder dome style rumble in my digestive system 🥛

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

I wonder how many tinder/bumble matches have been made whilst sitting on the toilet

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

@plockhar You noticed! Thanks Peter!

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Me, bouts to chop some onions and show em who’s boss (while showing no weakness)

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

@craigcoins Send it don’t bend it knowhadddimean

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

@Shannonagons382 @heidjnoz I gots me some funny friends

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

Hello, I love you won’t you tell me your name?

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

One of my favorite things in my classroom is when a certain student calls me “Nina” by accident. That’s what he calls his grandma who he ADORES, and it just shows how happy and comfortable he feels around me— I never correct him and get all the fuzzy feelings. ☺️💕✨

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

When it’s the day after Christmas but da booty still don’t stop #blessed

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

PSA:
Anthony Bourdain once said that if you treat your server poorly or are a bad tipper, you’re lower than whale feces.

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

@ellathebrave Ass Vixen

[Natalie Johnson @NattyJ_Ice]

I had a dream that I cleaned my apartment, yet when I awoke I found it to still be a flaming garbage fire. I just don’t think that is fair