Diet Guy

Paula Deen

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

Bro I win so many arguments from 2015 in my head during showers

[Meowers @Meowers5]

Listening to Like a Stone and watching my neighbors check the mail kind of day

[Madison @madisonbosil]

A REAL CONVERSATION I HEARD BETWEEN TWO GROWN MEN AT TIRES PLUS:

Man #1: *getting ready to pay* Is it a swipey swipe

Man #2: No it’s a chippy chip

[H. @omw2innisfree]

My friend’s dog, Max, finally caught its tail, and then didn’t know what to do with itself anymore.

[Nicky @nickturani]

Absolute ripoff!

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@zane796

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@TurianoDante

[Kurt McCune @kurtisleaux]

My wife says she doesn’t want a privacy fence because our dog won’t be able to enjoy the backyard view anymore😑

[Tom Brady @TomBrady]

Happy birthday Coach! He’ll definitely see this.. big social media guy..

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@zane796 okay Bobby Flay

[Suhlok @suhlok]

Carti SZN approaching

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@DemayLuke @SpenceLevesque the heart of the appaloosa horse never dies

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

When mom gets you a new box of toddlers

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

He can do yoga with the devil in hell

[prance @bocxtop]

Jesus
- under 6 feet tall
- nailed to a cross
- didn’t have gucci flip flops
- died a virgin

My mom’s yoga instructor Jesús
- 6’2
- nailed my aunt
- 2 pairs of gucci flip flops
- still alive, definitely fucks (see aunt)

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

Good boy alert

[Meowers @Meowers5]

I’m so turnt on whole milk I have an udder hanging out of my ass

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@Albs095 Yaldeh*

[Diet Guy @Nautical96]

@Albs095 you tell them Albert Hodor Yalheh

[☆ ‧dreamboy·˟͙‧̩̥l @LilNasX]

my debut album “old town roads” is dropping soon featuring

1. old town road
2. old town road (billy ray cyrus remix)
3. old town road (bass boosted)
4. old town road (young thug remix)
5. old town road (interlude)
6. old town road (10 hour loop)
7. old town road (acapella)