zander

main @nazNW1 . I’m using this account almost like a diary and to share my thoughts on my progression and goals

[zander @nazNW2]

Feeling like you have to apologise for being who you are is the worst feeling in the world I think, please go away. I’m tired of feeling you everyday.

[zander @nazNW2]

I feel like I’m not making progress at all in anything I’m doing at the moment. I know I am but it doesn’t feel like it. It’s so small that I don’t feel it nor see it. But that’s a part of the process I suppose.

[zander @nazNW2]

Not perfect, but im trying

[zander @nazNW2]

I’ve been really struggling recently, a lot of it in silence. However, i know i have people around me that love me deeply, that’s what keeps me going no matter what. If you feel like you have no one, trust me you have someone. I promise you, you just don’t see it yet. I love you.

[zander @nazNW2]

I’m so absolutely terrified that the people I love will leave me, I don’t know what to do to get rid of that feeling but I’m trying to trust them when they say they won’t. That’s all I can do for now.

[zander @nazNW2]

Just because it’s for the better doesn’t mean it’s not allowed to hurt. No matter what, feel your feelings. Don’t run away from them, they always catch up.

[zander @nazNW2]

Progress isn’t always linear, some days I just wake up and I just feel like shit and I can’t shake it. What’s important is that no matter what you keep going, no matter how hard.

[zander @nazNW2]

I want to stop being ashamed of what happened to me and the results of it but I don’t know how, and I think that’s ok. What’s not ok is that I do nothing to improve it or stay the same because it’s comfortable.

[zander @nazNW2]

It’s ok to be in pain, it’s ok to grieve. What matters is how you chose to act and who you chose to be. It’s going to be ok.

[zander @nazNW2]

I should love that about myself but right now I don’t. To be loved by me is to be loved forever, even if it’s from afar. You’re not scared of new love, but old pain.

[zander @nazNW2]

Something I need to come to terms with is that, I love deeply, I sow you into me because when I love you, I love you deeply, fully. I don’t like that about me because if it goes wrong this happens, however, it’s a beautiful thing, loving fully, deeply. It’s rare -