NeoTP

Hombre plátano bailongo a tiempo parcial. Doctor (en croquetología). Te canto el opening de Digimon cuando quieras.

(he/him/él)

[Heretics Abby 🎀⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ @abbyiimu]

"ves machismo en todos lados"

veo machismo en el cinturón de coche que al abrocharme me recuerda que fue diseñado bajo la antropometría del hombre, veo machismo en la temperatura de oficina climatizada teniendo en cuenta el metabolismo del hombre, veo machismo en la dificultad de diagnosticar a una mujer en cosas tan mundanas como un infarto porque los protocolos de diagnóstico y la educación social se construyeron sobre el modelo masculino como estándar universal, o como el mapeado de terminaciones nerviosas de vuestro miembro se realizó hace tres décadas y el de nuestro clítoris ESTE AÑO

["Guru Larry" Bundy Jr @LarryBundyJr]

An automated A.I. WWE news channel on YouTube tries to pronounce "WWE" as a word and ends up going insane!🤣

[ABC de Sevilla @abcdesevilla]

Cae por un puente cuando hacía el pino en el municipio granadino de Pinos Puente https://t.co/pN8Nn8KwVB

[gabu @_SHIROSHARK_]

FINALLY #YAOI

[NeoTP @NeoTP]

@elmundoes Conciliación laboral no es que te cuide la familia y la casa otro, es tener tiempo y capacidad para poder hacerlo tú. Menuda distopía loquísima.

[swami sound @swamisound]

I need everyone to play metal gear solid 2 immediately

[NeoTP @NeoTP]

@CondeSala20 Parásito.

[duck @ExtremeBlitz__]

“Thank you for all the incredible support”

the support:

[rin @pocketvenom]

i cant with them

[Alex_politics @comuflauta]

Os inventasteis que la habían violado unos menas para culpar a los inmigrantes de su situación de la chica

Os inventasteis que la Eutanasia era por depresión para culpar al Estado pese a que la eutanasia es por la paraplejia.

Os inventasteis que no tenia sus facultades mentales bien pese a que hasta 7 tribunales le dieran la razón a la chica diciendo que estaba perfectamente consciente y sabe lo que hacia.

Os estáis inventando ahora que se ha retractado pero que el hospital la están obligando a eutanasiarla. Cuando en todo el proceso ella puede decir que no.

Os habéis inventado todo lo posible para culpar a los inmigrantes, a los médicos, al Estado. Pero casualmente no habéis intentado inventar nada del Padre que la lleva torturando psicológicamente 2 años.

Y luego os preguntáis porque nos creemos mejores que vosotros.

[Pokemon Giveaways @PokeTCGiveaways]

Quite possibly the best thing I’ve seen on Pokemon Pokopia yet… The Rick Roll Railway!

[Mario_Tierra @Tierra100able_]

Esto lo ha subido la cuenta de Tiktok de Disney+ España

Estoy sin palabras

[Max Depre @McDepre]

Una noche más en la que Pedro Sánchez sube a romperse la camisa a la azotea de Moncloa gritando al cielo “¿¿ESTO ES TODO LO QUE SABES HACER??”

[Patricia Colón @PatColon]

Me estoy divirtiéndo mucho con los post que me llegan de los Australianos.
Están sembrados:

.Alright. Let’s talk about this absolute geopolitical shitshow for a second.

So picture the scene.

You’ve got Spain, right. A normal country. Tapas. Siestas. People arguing about football and drinking wine in the sun. And suddenly they wake up one morning and Donald Trump is on television basically screaming:

“IF YOU DON’T HELP ME BOMB IRAN I’M CUTTING OFF TRADE.”

Mate… what the fuck is this? Is this foreign policy or a drunk bloke threatening to leave a group chat?

And Spain’s Prime Minister Pedro Sánchez comes out and says the Middle East escalation is a “disaster.”

Which, by the way, is the most polite European way possible of saying:

“THIS IS A FUCKING TRAIN WRECK.”

Because Europeans don’t scream like Americans do. They just calmly sip an espresso and go:

“Yes… this situation is extremely concerning.”

Which translates to:

“WHO GAVE THE TODDLER THE NUCLEAR CODES?”

Now here’s the bit that makes this whole thing even funnier.

Spain said no to letting the U.S. use joint military bases on Spanish soil for the strikes on Iran.

And suddenly Donald Trump is like:

“FINE. NO TRADE WITH SPAIN.”

Mate… that’s not diplomacy.

That’s a bloke flipping the Monopoly board because he landed on someone else’s hotel.

Can you imagine the conversation in Madrid?

Spanish officials sitting around a big table going:

“So the Americans want to use our bases to bomb Iran.”

And one guy at the back just slowly raises his hand like:

“Maybe… we DON’T join the Middle East apocalypse today?”

And everyone goes:

“Yeah. That sounds reasonable.”

Meanwhile Trump is pacing around the Oval Office like a bloke who just lost a bet at the pub.

“You guys don’t wanna help bomb Iran? FINE. NO PAELLA FOR YOU. NO OLIVE OIL. NO TOURISTS.”

Mate, Spain’s entire national reaction was probably just:

“Okay.”

Because here’s the reality nobody in Washington seems to understand.

The rest of the world is exhausted with this cowboy shit.

You bomb someone.

Then you threaten someone else.

Then you scream at your allies.

Then oil prices explode.

Then the global economy starts coughing up a lung.

And then everyone acts surprised like:

“How did this happen?”

HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

Mate it happened because the global strategy right now looks like it was written on the back of a fucking napkin at a steakhouse.

And Spain just looked at the whole thing and went:

“Nope.”

Which honestly might be the most adult response anyone’s had in this entire mess.

Because while Washington is running around lighting geopolitical fireworks, countries like Spain are standing there going:

“You realise we have trade routes, energy markets, and 450 million Europeans who would quite like NOT to start World War Three today, yeah?”

But of course Trump’s response is:

“Cut off trade!”

Mate Spain exports $20 billion worth of stuff to the U.S.

Wine. Cars. Machinery. Food.

You’re gonna cut that off because they wouldn’t let you use their backyard to launch missiles?

That’s like threatening to divorce your wife because she won’t lend you the car to rob a bank.

“YOU’RE NOT SUPPORTING MY VISION!”

Your vision is a fucking felony, mate.

And here’s the funniest part.

This whole tantrum actually makes Spain look like the only sober bloke at a 3am house party.

Everyone else is smashing furniture, lighting fireworks inside, punching holes in the wall.

And Spain’s standing in the kitchen holding a glass of water going:

“Guys… maybe we should all calm the fuck down.”

So yeah.

Pedro Sánchez calling this a “disaster” might actually be the most accurate understatement of the decade.

Because when the adults in the room start using words like disaster…

It usually means the rest of the room is on fire and someone’s trying to fix it with a fucking flamethrower.

~Gman

[Elesky 🦋 エレスキー @Elesky25]

FELIZ MEJOR DÍA DEL AÑO

[M. @dramariax]

No se le paga suficiente a la persona que gestiona esto

[Sean Astin @SeanAstin]

Para los españoles y para todo el que quiera saber, el Sr. Frodo vivirá en mi corazón para siempre! 🇪🇸