NetflixPR

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

@afentra thanks for standing up for us this AM! Remember we don't call it "kicking puppies", its "moving small dogs with rapid exertion"

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Our price improvements are not "bending over and taking it in the pooper", they are "relaxing the hamstrings and smooth intestinal muscle"

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

@CBSnews It's not a "price hike", its an "augmentation to benefit the netflix brand in these challenging economic times." Please fix.

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Via our new hire @sarcophagoose, Netflix is pleased to announce its acquisition of KY in a hostile yet sensual take over for coming changes

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Don't call it a price increase, call it a price improvement!

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Update to Netflix HR policy! Rape is now termed effort free sex!

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Due to the high volume of non-returns a certain group of clients, DVD requests by African-Americans will be moved to the back of the queue

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

"Increase" is such an ugly word! Haha, that's why were calling it a price "massage"! Who wants massages!?!?

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

We heard grandpa was sick, no worries, we pulled the plug! We here at Netflix have every intent of protecting you from "choices".

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Little Netflix history! In 1914 we heard there was unrest in the Balkans so we went ahead and assassinated the archduke of Austria for you!

[NetflixPR @NetflixPR]

Good news everyone! We had sex with your significant other without your knowledge! We were happy to offer this service to you!