NewsToad

Sitting on a lily pad tapping phones, blackmailing politicians and bribing policemen.

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Humza seemed like a nice chap but it was never going to work without a sea creature like surname like Salmon or Sturgeon. If there is a leadership candidate called Michael Octopus. Now is your time.

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Royals are definitely improving. They used to throw anyone who disagreed with them off the top of a castle and if you gave them bad press you'd be thrown off the top of a castle. At this rate they'll have sorted out the racism and sexual abuse in a couple of generations.

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Anti-Vaxxers campaign for right to breathe on vulnerable people https://t.co/sebAfGDrj1

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

@realDonaldTrump I think it had something to do with the votes Donald. More people wanted someone else to be president.

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Thousand gather in London to protest against road signs https://t.co/rBC6xfBltl

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Protesters topple Jimmy Saville statue https://t.co/p0FO4NSMlu

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Government defend "Stay Alert with Englebert" slogan https://t.co/68SD3Pib8L

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

"When can I stop washing my hands again?" Matt Hancock asked https://t.co/wW8dL4QQTe

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

"Is it alright to bring back Chalky?" Jim Davidson asks https://t.co/9ygTNVC13E

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Chessington World of Adventures to host free Brexit party https://t.co/fgfwvMg4cD via @NewsToad

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

"Thank you for voting Conservative" say FTSE 100 bosses https://t.co/xsij6x9oGg

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Jeremy Corbyn to stand for Labour leadership https://t.co/E3iv5iT9TO

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

I've had a message from Derek Acorah. He says it's too soon for jokes.

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

"I voted monster raving looney party because they're all crooked". Oh, voted conservative again did you?

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Boris to have an investigation into racism in your party. I can help, it's everyone in your party, everyone that votes for you, and you. You're welcome. #Leadersdebate

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Boris Johnson to fund his spending promises by not actually doing them #LeadershipDebate

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Boris has found the magic money tree! And it's growing in the Cayman islands!

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Johnson "I did it for Brexit" https://t.co/mL2LkluU3E

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

Labour Government to stay in and leave the EU https://t.co/onymsnThCL

[NewsToad @NewsToad]

There won't be a no deal Brexit recession because laughing smiley face https://t.co/iol3gOi337