Nick Katua

jolly fella

[Mwai, MBS. @IanJamesMwaiK]

Today I made two decisions that shocked even me.

First, I cheated on my barber. Recently he’s been moving like a celebrity… doesn’t pick calls, misses appointments, acts booked and busy. Meanwhile he charges me Ksh. 3,000 per shave like he’s restoring ancient art.

Today I decided enough is enough and tried a Burundi guy charging Ksh. 500.

Let me tell you something… when that man turned the chair around, I almost stood up and hugged him. The fade was so clean.

Second… I left my car at home and took a matatu to a meeting.

At first I was tense. Then the conductor called me “boss,” the music was hitting, and somehow we reached faster than everyone stuck in traffic pretending to be important.

By the time I got to the meeting I had saved fuel, parking fees, and unnecessary suffering.

Character development is realizing Nairobi humbles everybody equally.

[Nick Katua @Nickatua]

@kerubo_hillary Use hot and have the A/C on. This way your nice and toasty and screen will be cleared. Note the a/c has to be on.

[Marty 🇺🇸🇿🇦 @Darth_Martys]

Looks like karma sent a polite reminder: if it doesn’t belong to you, maybe don’t test the borrowing policy.

[Nick Katua @Nickatua]

@l0n3n1nj4 @KenyanSays @Kibet_bull Looks like an insta 360

[David Maraga @dkmaraga]

Fellow Kenyans, I need you to help me reset, rebuild and restore Kenya.

I have chosen to run a campaign that is funded by you, ordinary Kenyans.
I am appealing to you to make a donation to the campaign.

If my campaign is funded by donations from you, the everyday Kenyan, then it becomes OUR campaign. And I will be accountable to you, the everyday Kenyan.

You can donate any amount.

Simply log in to
https://t.co/Qnx8YlRZfQ.
Or go to Mpesa Paybill: 4164137
Account Number: 4164137

[Munjiru wa mbari ya Karanja @wakariowa]

@musakuru45 during the rainy season!

[RudeBwoy ™☠️,🏴‍☠️ @RudeBwoy_254]

Back when 'Twitter' was nothing but pure chaos, unfiltered humor, and endless entertainment..... those were truly the golden days 😌🔥

Thread 🧵

[Ojie Osas @ojieosas4]

Now this is content 😆😆😆

[NO CONTEXT HUMANS @HumansNoContext]

bro lost 50% of his rights

[Boniface G. Mwangi @GathogoBMwangi]

Sijawai cheka hivo
😂😂😂😂����
Wetin be this advert, serves purpose??Yes!

[Cyprian, Is Nyakundi @C_NyaKundiH]

Businesswoman Targeted in Violent Robbery in Karatina

Thieves stormed the compound of a businesswoman in Karatina’s Ndiara village, attacking her shortly after she arrived home on Saturday night.

The intruders, who appeared to have been monitoring her movements, pounced as she alighted from her car.

They confronted her at close range, demanding that she surrender money before forcibly dragging her around the compound.

The assailants seemed to have no fear of being caught, spending several minutes within the premises while issuing threats and searching her belongings.

Footage from a nearby CCTV camera captured the terrifying ordeal, which occurred shortly before 8 pm, as the victim returned from what appeared to be a day’s work.

Residents in the area have raised alarm over the trend of criminal activity in rural parts of Nyeri County, where gangs have been targeting business owners and women returning home in the evening.

There is growing frustration in the village as locals call on security officers to respond swiftly before more attacks occur.

[CATHY MUTUKU @cathy_mutuku]

That's our boy,my governor mutula

[Rapcha The Sayantist @IAMRAPCHA]

What happened yesterday on Jamhuri day is the start of a generational divide

Millennials will betray Gen Z and all their struggles, they are in their 40s, alcoholics, depressed, and clutching on straws

A big percentage of people supporting this murderous regime are 40 years and above

They have dreams of benefiting from this regime even if people die, they are trying to make something out of their lives, and they will definitely betray their children who are the Gen Z

[Yoko @Kibet_bull]

Matiang'i stopped KSCE cheating without suspending Telegram services. It's only Kenya Kwisha who does that and KCSE cheating continue

[Omwamba 🇰��� @omwambaKE]

I have Finally Found the Original Video where the man of God is talking about Thieves.
Tag one thieve you know and run away!

[Nick Katua @Nickatua]

@AIRTEL_KE When are you going to fix your app?

[Omwamba 🇰🇪 @omwambaKE]

Crazy Kennar has Nailed this One.
This Should be TRENDING.
If you love this Accuracy, Repost!

[Airtel Kenya @AIRTEL_KE]

Wadau!! Send and receive money effortlessly across all NETWORKS on Airtel Money. Enjoy FREE Airtel-to-Airtel transfers. Dial *334# or use the My Airtel App https://t.co/i2AH1iWbFk to get started.
Not registered yet? Dial *334# to activate your Airtel Money account.

[Kimuzi @Kimuzi_]

This is it. Najua Ruto akiona hii anaskia tumbo ni joto. Amezoea kuwa worshipped na akona Duale na Kimani Ichinga. I like this.