Nick Swarsdon

I am Nick Swarsdon, not Nick Swardson. Gosh! Argh! I am typing in anger, but you can't tell! Seriously though. Not Nick Swardson (@nickswardson)

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

I lost a bet this past weekend, so now I have to enter into holy matrimony with someone of the same sex. Any takers? I have to be 'the dude'

[Derick @Derick_Patrick1]

first rule of threesomes: it's only gay if your dicks touch. tell the other two guys to not touch theyre dicks with yours #manlaw

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@ReneRopas @KurstinStowe imagine a little kid who opened a really awesome or really horrible Christmas gift- it'll be something like that!

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

#WWE #Raw lmao "lil Jimmy's smilin like a lil Jimmy"

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@corinahansen3 I'm listening

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@KurstinStowe @ReneRopas I love that part of town

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

Wth WWE, that was a fantastic match between CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, with a good run in by Y2J, then casually move on to the next segment?

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@applebdapple anytime anywhere anyplace! Bring it! (grabs street cats from alley)

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

People, there are so many of "them" - you be you!

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@Joheavys I ded

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

Was so excited there was something on TV called the 'SAG awards'. Turns out it was a regular awards show? #MasturbatedAnyway

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

I'm gonna go to the worst part of town and randomly start beatboxing and breakdancing. Wish me luck!

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

@tim13045 haha I like the ice cube trays

[Lonna Atkinson @LonnaAtkinsonRE]

@NickSwarsdon there was a young maiden a lying in grass-she gently rolled over and showed me her ass

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

Someone sing me a naughty lullaby!

[prettylilwife @Prettylilllife]

You kicked the pet out the room first right?
I mean the PB is for you right?
RT @NickSwarsdon: C) grab peanut butter

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

So if you're rubbing one out, do you kick the pets out or make them watch? Same goes for grandparents

[M & M @MelodyM1978]

@NickSwarsdon I'm eating a foot long sausage
#meatinmythroat

[Nick Swarsdon @NickSwarsdon]

I'm eating tacos. I wish that was a euphamism for your mom #sauceallovermyface