NotGoldenCorral

Life is hard. Eat yourself to death. PARODY ACCOUNT. Everything is a joke to me. Fluent in snarkasm. My pronoun(s): chimichanga.

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

Q: What happened when the #wokemob went to #cancel #BobSaget?
A: He beat them to the punch(line) by #canceling himself!

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@realDonaldTrump 2/2 of them if there was in fact any crime committed it was crossing the border once--which you know is a misdemeanor. So those guilty of misdemeanors deserve to be deported to places like #CECOT? Maybe you should spend a night there, sir, just to see how your policies hurt folks

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@realDonaldTrump 1/2 Mr. President, tell us all how and why it's fair that your grandpappy, Friedrich, got a second chance at US citizenship after being here once after breaking Bavarian law? Why are you deporting moms, dads, and children along with violent offenders? You do know that for most of

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@realDonaldTrump 3/3 learning to work together, build consensus, instead of pushing YOUR agenda. You were the #MAGA candidate; now however you're president to the entire American people. Your job is far too big and important to be about satisfying your ego. Please display some decency & kindness.

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@realDonaldTrump 2/3 and balances, due process, the rule of law... You were elected to serve--not to be a king! And just because you're president it does not therefore follow that folks are obligated to fall in line. You are not above questioning or criticism. You are 1 part of 3. How about

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

For your #colorfulmetaphor of the day: life with a #developmentaldisorder such as #ASD, #ADHD, & others is akin to finally being accepted to the lesbian college of life, and getting that one class in the college of cunning linguistics, only to be told they're out of dams.

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

#DollarTree #IUD

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

It just dawned on me that the Spinal Tap song, Big Bottom, is just absolutely stuffed full of Inn-U-End-O

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@AskTSA Why? 3.4ozs is so specific. What��s the fear and/or security concern with more? I once forgot a sealed Coke in a lunchbox. There was a vending machine directly across from the checkpoint. When asked your agent, with a wink & a smile, replied, “Maybe they want you to spend $$.”

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

Hey, @TSA @AskTSA thanks for the recent groping due to the detritus of breakfast I’d forgotten in my back pocket—because I was cleaning up after myself. And it was truly only a piece of the foil pouch seen herein.

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@binnahar85 Respectfully, and while the logic is sound, your statement could just as well read "I don't know when will the Middle Eastern Muslims realize that their values aren't universal. There are other cultures with different values that should be equally respected." Cuts both ways.

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

@staceyabrams But can you get @ChickfilA to open up on Sundays? #GiveUsWhatWeReallyWant

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

Is this for real? What a joke, @Apple! Make this right.

[Koy Rent --I'm here, I'm there, I'm... everywhere @rAnDomlycHaD]

#Apple #iPhoneX a rant:

Last year, I had the battery replaced in my iPhone X at an Apple authorized provider (Apple themselves had not yet reopened), as its capacity was diminished. Unbeknownst to me at the time was the fact that the servicer damaged the ambient light sensor 1/x

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

#Evolution don't make no sense to me. Like it made all life, and then it splits creatures into sexes and makes them do the nasty to make more life. Don't make no sense at all to evolve a chicken so it could lay an egg--when it could've kept making the chickens #CheckmateAtheists

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

What's the @McDonalds employee say when they drop a #BigMac?

"Oh! Burgah fell!"

What's next on the #SupremeCourt's docket?

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

#America ! Welcome to the new #BLM! #BabyLivesMatter!

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

Anyone catch this week's #BetterCallSaul? Can we give it up for #HowardHamlin? Way to take one for the team!

#BCS
#HHM

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

So my son is #suicidal, my daughter is a #lesbian, & my wife has lifelong #trauma issues

So #blessed

[NotGoldenCorral @NihilistCorral]

All you folk out there gettin' all up ons about Christians doing a #Passover #Seder better not be puttin' up no #Hanukkah bushes, ya feel me? #CulturalAppropriation

[Koy Rent --I'm here, I'm there, I'm... everywhere @rAnDomlycHaD]

@DaveMustaine I wanted so badly to come see you on the #MetalTouroftheYear in Tucson tomorrow, but instead I'm in the hospital with a small bowel obstruction. Getting better, but it's slow.