Nikki Simpson

Turns out not where but who you're with that really matters

[CentralBoyProbz @CentralBoyProbz]

all the hot guys are taken #CentralBoyProbz

[Carrie Wittmer 👻 @carriesnotscary]

the Suez Canal today

[New Jersey @NJGov]

shout out to all the jersey girls worldwide #InternationalWomensDay

[caitie delaney @caitiedelaney]

I care more about John Mulaney than most of the people I’ve actually met

[Nikki Simpson @Nik_Simpson]

It me

[Calum Shanlin @calumshanlin]

Schitt's Creek, but make it Law & Order

[Jason Zinoman @zinoman]

We all dress like Adam Sandler now.

[jonny sun @jonnysun]

everyone @ literally everything outside of our apartments:

[vince @VinnyViper]

The corona virus happened because we stopped watching that one video of Casey Frey

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

(opening my god damn email) there better not be any god damn emails in here

[Nikki Simpson @Nik_Simpson]

@kymellll This wasn’t the pun we wanted, it was the pun we needed

[James @CaucasianJames]

y’all mind if i have a good week

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

occasionally during our walks. someone will pass us. and completely ignore my human. but whisper hello to me. i really enjoy this

[James @CaucasianJames]

cashier: how are u today

me, checking out with gatorade and tylenol extra strength: good

[Hanif Abdurraqib @NifMuhammad]

disappointed to find out that Bobby Flay's full name is actually not Robert Flayvor

[Mayor Guy Fieri @GuyFieri]

In the culinary justice system, taste-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In Flavortown, the one dedicated detective who investigates bland food is the leader of an elite squad known as the Sketchy Chef Unit. These are Guy's stories. #DUNDUN #TheLawsofFlavortown