Nina

[regular sadmeister @gardeinqueen]

having a period is so crazy because sometimes something like this comes out of u and u just kinda shrug your shoulders and keep going about your day

[Ous'B 💚 @BongsMahlangu_]

If you miss a man just text him. He'll say something that ruins that feeling pretty quickly.

[ankamotzhorn @AngelikaHoerner]

Also ich glaube ja, dass diese Krankmeldung ab 1. Tag nur ein Trick ist, damit sich alle darüber aufregen und nicht mitbekommen, was sonst noch alles beschlossen wurde. Hat wohl geklappt.

[Romy @Romy_Holland]

it’s crazy nobody’s invented a type of dog that doesn’t bark. they managed to turn a wolf into a chihuahua but they didn’t think to touch barking? okay guys.

[Imogen Peach ♡ @NotoriousPeach]

i told my therapist about this conversation i had with my parents as a toddler and she got this hungry look in her eye, like i had turned into a cartoon steak

[Blair Dulder CPA™ 🧃 @runaway_vol]

stop encouraging the Germans to get air conditioning. having them paralyzed three months of the year is how Europe is at peace for almost a century now

[NoStressZone. @DaharaMuha34286]

- “Wanna participate in some poor decision making later?”
- “You busy tonight or can I bother you romantically?”
- “I have a very important cuddling-related proposal.”
- “Do you wanna make out like teenagers with no supervision?”
- “Would you be interested in ruining my ability to think straight for a few hours?”
- “I was wondering if you’d like to come over and absolutely distract me from all responsibilities.”
- “Hypothetically… if someone wanted to kiss you a lot later, how would you feel about that?”
- “Do you wanna hang out horizontally?”
- “I’m feeling affectionate and slightly dangerous.”
- “Any interest in some premium-quality attention later?”
- “Can I interest you in a night of bad movies and progressively less watching of the movie?”
- “You, me, zero productivity tonight?”
- “Wanna come over and make the neighbors think we’re laughing too much?”
- “I’m trying to decide between behaving respectfully and being obsessed with you.”

[sucks @powerbottomdad1]

after throwing my 30 lb daughter in the air dozens of times a day i realize id lift alot more weights if they giggled

[🎸 Maxxie 💔 @pseudakorus]

category is: letters that don't need to do that

[sliccmic 𖤐 @sliccmic]

diva cup users be like yea no its great i just have to put my entire hand up my pussy twice a day

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Work. Work. Work. Stay hydrated. Go to the dentist. 10,000 steps. “What’s for dinner?” Insurance. Drink water. Pay a bill. Pay a bill. Smile. Credit Score. Check engine light. Go get gas. ALLERGIES! TAXES! STUDENT LOANS! Phone storage full. Email. Email. Apple $12.99. Apple $9.99. Subscriptions. Subscription. Overdraft. Laundry. Fold. Text. Text. Text. Clean the house. “I haven’t seen you in a while.” Doctors appoinment. Hair appoinment. Nail appointment. RENT. WAR! GOVERNMENT! POLITICS! THE PRESIDENT!!

[j @meadandjuniper]

It’s weird there aren’t more savory drinks. Take broth for instance. There are so many broths I would absolutely drink straight out of a mug. So how come there’s no Starbucks for broths? Am I just weird?

[Freyy @Freyy_is]

dear apple, the iPod needs to come back. not for nostalgia. for the parents who want their kids to love music and audiobooks without a browser, social media, and the whole internet attached to it

[Faye L Root @littlebayschool]

Use bigger bowls to mix stuff in than you think. Way bigger. Yes, bigger even than that

[Womansplainer @iWomansplainer]

One time, after multiple years of living next to his nextdoor neighbor, and multiple years of working with one of his team members at work, my dad realized that they were the same person.

[Riċ @ricblurs]

i have no more passwords left in me

[vivi @mooncatvivi]

sunday night: why haven’t i accomplished anything ever. i dont want to wake up for work tomorrow. i need to clean everything right now!!! is god real? why did my mom do that to me. is anyone else really scared all the time. what should i eat for lunch tomorrow. am i unlovable?

[signüll @signulll]

whoever put the b in to subtle really knew what they were doing.

[kas𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 @urth2kas]

dear diary, today i was angry because i woke up early and i was still sleepy:

[Chocolate💋 @favoritel8dy]

Ima buy 2 more things and really start saving