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[Dad Jokes @Dadsaysjokes]

It's like my mom always told me...

"You might not be the dumbest guy in the world, but you better hope he doesn't die."

[Willie Stewart @Lindsay04555896]

Dear Scottish twitter, please stick to this kind of material

[Hugh Laurie @hughlaurie]

Thanks for your critique, Janet. We actually tried a couple of episodes where House (Hugh Laurie) (please put the brackets in the right place) gets it right first time, but they were only 6 minutes long. NBC weren’t happy. Then we tried some where House never gets it right and the patient dies. The audience wasn’t happy.

One could apply your trenchant analysis to other art forms: JS Bach wrote 30 Goldberg variations on the same chord structure; Frida Kahlo painted 50 portraits of herself; Henry Moore, what??

The point is, or was, variations on a theme; if all you see is hospital, medical blah blah, then it wasn’t meant for you.

Nonetheless, I look forward to your first novel!

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

@WorldCup26HQ @nocontextfooty This is not true as at least Arda Guler will be there with Turkey: https://t.co/HI5zNQlv93

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

Very good

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

План на вечер #todaysmood

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

Decent one

[Alejo @ecommartinez]

Este tipo usó IA para meterse en Juego de Tronos y arreglar lo que los guionistas de HBO arruinaron.

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

Ну вот, а они мигрантам не рады…

[World of Statistics @stats_feed]

🇵🇱 Eurostat lowers Poland’s 2100 population forecast by 4 million.

Poland’s population is set to fall 32% by 2100, more than previously thought.

Eurostat predicts that the population, which currently stands at around 37.5 million, will drop to just 25.6 million by 2100.

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

@HunnyTunny Выглядит как Cesky Crumlov

[Stephen King @StephenKing]

Very sad news about Dan Simmons. My whole family read CARRION COMFORT. I think thaT was the only novel all 5 of us read.

[Manchester City US @ManCityUS]

Look at us. Who would’ve thought.

[tramdrey @tramdrey]

Ищу UE девелопера на фриланс для моей игры ECHO RAILWAY, нужна помощь в работе над demo.
НЕ бесплатно!

Проект — adventure в ретро-футуристичной/киберпанк стилистике, в реплай приложу ссылку.

Буду благодарен за репост! 🚋

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Welcome to the Polish league, where:

- The 1st and last teams are separated by just 11 points.
- The league leaders drew their last five games and went from 3rd to 1st.
- 1st place and 13th place have the same number of wins.
- Thirteen teams have scored more goals than the league leaders.
- The 13th-ranked team has the best attack.
- The last-placed team has the 4th-best defensive record.
- The biggest team in Poland is ranked last.

[lynk @lynk0x]

Do crackheads ever say, “I’m too broke to smoke crack tonight”?

No. They get up and make it happen.

Lesson in there.

[Не Смотрю @NiSmotrit]

@sagdiev_borat 15 злотых: https://t.co/xsVBsY0MFx

[Olivier Varlan @VarlanOlivier]

French Wolverine :

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[El Club del Arte 🎨📷📚🖼🕍🎼 @Arteymas_]

Los hombres somos felices con cosas simples…

[Gabrielius Landsbergis🇱🇹 @GLandsbergis]

Russia escalates, we do nothing, Russia escalates more, we do nothing, Russia escalates even more, we do nothing... guys, I think I am starting to see a pattern here.