heinz doofenshmirtz

Curse you Perry the Platypus

[🍒 @KICKNGUINDAFACE]

i hate when people use military time like ok cadet kelly

[Nina Turner @ninaturner]

Trains. The answer is trains.

[Shannon Watts @shannonrwatts]

Today on the 405 in Los Angeles. We are waiting @adidas.

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

That shit hurted

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

I don’t think I know a single woman who doesn’t wear men’s old spice deodorant

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

Omw to my local news station to hold everyone hostage until they can tell me how they know what temperature it’s gonna be a week from now???

[Eddy Burback @eddyburback]

every bloke in england tonight

[Kent Murphy @ReaICoachKent]

This girl took an absolute DADDY HACK

[Anthony Michael Kreis, FRHistS @AnthonyMKreis]

Preemptively posting this.

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

Fun fact: Taking a large dose of beta-alanine 30 minutes after ingesting LSD or Psilocybin can greatly reduce associated paranoia

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

@shannonxo36 Yea I really thought this one was gonna do numbers

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

Sometimes old people smell like ham

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

You already know when NY dispensaries open Wegmans bout to be swinging the best bud

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

Sometimes I zone out and think about how much better my life would be as a wooden Adirondack chair

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

Happy weed is legal so that I won’t have to pretend I think it’s bad in front of my kids

[heinz doofenshmirtz @NNeverette]

If I were @codyko, I would simply marry @KelseyKreppel.

[rules-based international zachary @TomKhruisehchev]

holy shit

[Chris Thorburn @CBThorburn]

watching a film from 2004

[cybr amir @cybramir]

best fight scene in movie history