Northern Mam

Northerner, Mam, Wife. Misses Metroland and pre-pregnancy figure.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@ballazulu “Immergrants” 😂😂😂

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@ballazulu awww, bless.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@ballazulu need help with manners?

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

The spawn is so helpful! Today she has helped me kiss goodbye to the very last dangling thread of my sanity, bless her...

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Ah brilliant. The fighting bedtime phase has begun. I'm thrilled...

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

There is no greater lie than something that has "spreadable" written on the tub.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Babysitting night. Best friends new girlfriend recommended diet pills to me. Yeah... 🖕#mumtum #fuckoffthough

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Hotel Transylvania is the spawns favourite film...but she is now cocking her leg pretending to pee like a wolf cub 🙈

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@officialcalor family w toddler currently without heating & hot water til Mon aft at earliest thanks to Sandersons Leyburn representing you

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@officialcalor family with toddler currently without heating or hot water until Monday aft at the earliest thanks to Sandersons of Leyburn

[The Parenting Jungle @ParentingJungle]

This is my son's sweet potato pet. Introducing Harold. I did peel him for dinner but now we can't eat him.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Not sure if it's a joiner working on our windows or the actual fucking Waltzers, the radio is that loud 🙈

[Nick Adams-King 🇬🇧🇳🇱🏳️‍🌈 @Nickking]

Me:"When there's something strange in your neighbourhood..
Who ya gonna call?..."
*10yo opens fridge"

It's the little things....

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Changed spawns nappy at 5:30 this morning, no poo. Looked over at the bed, shit EVERYWHERE. 0/10 worst magic trick ever.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

The spawn turned 2 at the wknd. Day 1 of terrible twos: supposed to be sleeping, trashes room. Runs back to bed when caught. Its going well.

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

@UpTheDiff Completely true! No idea where she's picked it up from...my obsessive stock piling for hubby maybe? 🤔

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Sang "heads, shoulders, knees and toes" to the spawn and she brought me a bottle of Head & Shoulders 😂

[Emily @UpTheDiff]

Motherhood can be the busiest, but loneliest of times. Take a mum out for a prosecco & save them from the daily grind of CBeebies! 🍾

[Northern Mam @NorthernMam]

Babysitting my boss's kids this week. Came home from work & lint rolled & washed the couch after a 5 yr olds criticism. FML