Selsey Niht Leofian

A wandering troupe of Satirical Minstrels. Live performances every Saturday night. Our lead thespian, Olek Bodwin, does the best Donaeld! Serfs spill their Mead

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

King riles against Danes but fails to condemn high cudgel ownership.
Hovels with one are 8x more likely to bash a loved one than a brigand. https://t.co/gTVNqGMEll

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@SharedCoupleHer Gin or vodka. In Australia we have a great boutique distilling industry, and vodka called 'Sheep's Whey' is second to none.

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready King said he was reformed, and would not indulge in puns. But as we know he's Luther with the truth then befits a king.
#delayTheReformation

[Jay Kuo @nycjayjay]

Yup.

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

Tiny vellum sizes limiting the number of letters our scribes can pen
It means @donaeldunready and anti-disestablishmentarians can't finish a

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@JorvikTimes @donaeldunready Need inquires into @donaeldunready practice of gilding his hawk tail feathers. King is bankrupting Mercia!
Wic must stop his retail therapy!

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready now spoiling our sagas. Many folc in distant provinces (like Exeter) yet to see first acts.

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

First @donaeldunready said the Dane's dishonesty was Limitless, now he claims it has NO limit. Does the king understand our great language?

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

https://t.co/5tbSvqdBQ4

[Politics @politics]

Trump lawyers send cease and desist letter to teen site that lets you scratch at Trump photos with a cat's paw https://t.co/2ZajyTj4FT

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@JorvikTimes @donaeldunready Furious at witan tying up Unreadycare edict, King to bannermen: "I'm ropeable. And you're knot!"

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@JorvikTimes Scyers forecast bad tidings for kingdom. @donaeldunready responds: "I don't make predictions. I never have and I never will"

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready Peat is also a finite resource, but your pledge to bring back those jobs will be a disaster.
You're in the poke of big Peat

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready sets Reeves on brat
The boy who's game lets cats play with a fluffy king was told
In Mercia the pussies don't grab the king!

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready Your Trickle-down fuedanomics only works if you turn on the tap.
But the king can't even spell it!

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@SeanTheHalfwity @donaeldunready Regicide

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready @bristolmuseum King secretly took millions in danegeld to build his towers.
And we all know of his love for Golden Towers.

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready cuts healing research:
Leeches, a new art for drawing away bad blood, under threat.
Clerics say "He's bleeding us white!"

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

@donaeldunready ends gruel-on-carts for the venerable
Annual cost was less than one trip on Mare horse one.
What will the over 35's eat now?

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

Happy drunken snake slaying day!
Hibernians everywhere will be draining tankards of green mead thankful @donaeldunready is not their liege.

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

Wessex favoured destination for Mercian Pilgrims seeking healing!
@donaeldunready uped potion funds and we are swamped with poxy northerners

[Selsey Niht Leofian @NorthumbrianLit]

Leaked tithing transcript paints @donaeldunready in good standing.

Entitled "Client Copy", it's a mystery how this single page emerged.