Nathaniel Orwiler

Miscreant creeper comedy. Infrequent spurts of pathology.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

You can buy my poetry book now. A quick 3500 sales should help dig me out of the hole: https://t.co/jHXBUgl7uQ

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

@lilfuck_ Omg, the urge to eviscerate you for your folly.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

However the results pan out, this is the best @Mariners trade deadline in my lifetime. Consider my head out from under the paper bag.

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

⚾ REPOST TO WIN ⚾

Fan Appreciation Week rolls on with La Piedra! Just hit that repost button for a chance to win a Luis Castillo City Connect jersey and signed baseball. #SeaUsRise

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

⚾ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️

Fan Appreciation Week continues and it’s time for another giveaway. All you have to do is repost this for a chance to win an autographed baseball from @jp_crawford! #TridentsUp🔱

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

⚾️ REPOST to WIN ⚾️

It’s a prize-filled Fan Appreciation Week thanks to @Muckleshoot_C! Hit that repost button for a chance to win an autographed baseball from 2023 All-Star @gkirb98!

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

@_kierk I'm here and he's set up under a tree on the other side of a small, active parking lot. It's the silliest setup I've ever seen, but still happy to be here.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

@NFLRookieWatxh With that kind of pedigree, I'm surprised he wasn't named the Bear's starter for life.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

The only explanation for this is that he thinks it's pronounced mux

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

I'm better at threads

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

It seems obvious to me Musk and Zuck are working together, but I guess that's too wild of a conspiracy theory to be fun for everyone to think about

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

If I cared even one single shit about my data being scraped, I wouldn't use social media at all. Only weird little worm people think it has any value at all.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

It's always advice about proper diet and hydration and never pragmatic tips on how to keep my gorgeous brown locks out of the slippery hands of ghouls.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

I just ate a truly un-Christian amount of BBQ and I will not be redeemed.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

https://t.co/MkTkyBDyDq

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

Guys, I just scored some unbelievably cheap submersible tickets

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

@_kierk Might have to spring for a new daily jean, sorry my guy.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

@_kierk I'm wearing some old gray jeans with a hole in one knee and some white paint stains, the consensus is that they look bad. Alternatively, for eveningwear, various colors of flannel pants with holes in the crotch.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

4 Chicago hot dogs on a hot summer day

[sclooge @lilfuck_]

Name a person you met or have heard of

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

Sometimes when I'm cramming my piehole, there's a little pie still stuck in my swallower.

[Nathaniel Orwiler @NOrwiler]

Republicans reading the Bible: "I bet Jesus would have been called a fascist too, gosh darnit!"