NOT Breaking News

Headlines rewritten the way people actually read them

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[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@BBCWorld Not #Breaking News: this is a bad name.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

Not #Breaking News: can’t run from the law

[CP24 @CP24]

Two teens charged after coach of running group assaulted in Hamilton
https://t.co/RqS68vZkut

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

Breaking News: We need to get this built

[CP24 @CP24]

LNG Canada to import steel from China for $33B project in Kitimat, B.C. https://t.co/sVT8UJflN4

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

Breaking news. No actually. Breaking news.

[Andrew Coyne 🇺🇦🇮🇱🇬🇪🇲🇩 @acoyne]

New West Coast pipeline expected to be designated project of national interest by Thursday - The Globe and Mail
https://t.co/GIiidj2EbL

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@MCirielloMPP @newgrampa Breaking News. I bet the Twitter troll didn’t expect that one! Gotcha.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@CP24 #Breaking News: Global Warming is back.

Coincidence - Canada just cut the carbon tax? I think not.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@CBSNews #Breaking News: Ministry of Truth working overtime in Washington

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

#Breaking News: The Ministry of Truth is working overtime

[Aaron Rupar @atrupar]

Trump tells the UN he is officially changing the name of Artificial Intelligence to "Super Intelligence" and says all US government documents will now be changed to refer to "SI"

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@globeandmail Not Breaking News: this was a total disaster

[Mark Carney @MarkJCarney]

Congratulations to Toronto’s SickKids Hospital: the world’s best children’s hospital for the second year in a row.

Canada’s health care system is one of our greatest strengths. It’s a reflection of our values — powered by the incredible nurses, doctors, researchers, and staff who deliver world-class, life-saving care every day.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@CTVNews Not #BreakingNews: Ovie and Putin are friends.

Also Not #Breaking News: this has nothing to do with hockey.

If Ovechkin’s politics disqualify him from playing hockey, wait until someone finds out about the supply chains behind half the shoes on an NBA court.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@ahmadelbayoumi NOT #Breaking News: Bonnie Crombie just says things to get elected

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@TinaYazdani Not Breaking News: the new Min of Tourism doesn’t personally partake in half the things tourists come to do

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@RichardCityNews Not Breaking News: not bad for a byelection the day before Labour Day weekend.

100% intentional and well executed by the PCs

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@DLeBlancNB Breaking news: you should make this permanent

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@fordnation Amen.

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

Not #Breaking News: David Ricardo is turning over in his grave

[Andrew Coyne 🇺🇦🇮🇱🇬🇪🇲🇩 @acoyne]

“Build ‘em where you sell ‘em” is a pointless, costly policy with no actual economic rationale. It makes a great slogan, but that’s all it is.

Canada’s auto sector is marked for death. What now? https://t.co/jfGqgg0ijx

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@BBCWorld How long under Trump installs an even bigger “Lake America” sign on the American side of the border?

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@Graydonthempp Not #Breaking News: safety vests also come in Men’s sizes

[NOT Breaking News @NOTbreakNEWS]

@fordnation East Gwillimbury always the bridesmaid