Thomas Ross

If I'm stretching the truth, it's only because I've outgrown it.

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@AnnaKeesey @Tin_House I'M STILL AT LARGE

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@matthewzapruder @zzpacker @adalimon Oh so THIS is what he's been training for. #P90XvsPoets #weightgate

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@TonyDPerez @SpeakerRyan @matthewzapruder @Tin_House I'm all in on changing the company line on him from "shit weasel" to "tragic corpse."

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

"What I liked about Al-Anon was that no one gave me advice..." New #flashfiction by Nicole Simonsen: https://t.co/2FK8Zgd2sX

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

So if he's stretching the truth, it's only because he's outgrown it. https://t.co/L7P7RXybSZ

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

*fourth longest, excluding Joe Biden https://t.co/i3423RWx4M

[Iron Widow's Peak @IronWidowsPeak]

On Medicaid, my record speaks for itself: 133 seconds—the fourth longest kegstand in congressional history. https://t.co/GICQMaG6lp #WI01

[Iron Widow's Peak @IronWidowsPeak]

Hello! I'm a sentient widow's peak, I'm running against a mustache for #WI01 in 2018, and today I'm drawing my #hairlineinthesand.

[Iron Widow's Peak @IronWidowsPeak]

@IronStache Trust me, @IronStache, I still find plenty of time to "work the iron." #doyouevenlift???

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@Tin_House What DO they like? We can change!

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

BOB LOBLAW SLOBS DON'S KNOB #RNCinCLE https://t.co/rNu7sExPTR

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@Tin_House And they told us pink on blue couldn't be done! #naysayers #alwaysonbrand #thsw

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@Captain_Cle @ruthmadievsky y'all mean autoerotic, right?

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

... vs how I actually feel after #awp16

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

How I am presenting after #awp16 ...

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

Jonathan Taylor Solder Spy #90sABook

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@Tin_House @MitchSJackson @Captain_Cle has his Skipper hat on already. (I'm Ginger, and will not hear otherwise.)

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

Can you get a contact high from anaesthesia? Because Ben Carson definitely has that.

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@Kristen_Arnett I named them all, but @catielyoung is resisting some of my ideas. Worrisome quote: "BUT THESE ARE MY CHILDREN"

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

@catielyoung So, so deeply worried about you right now.

[Thomas Ross @notThomasRoss]

Last question: "God and the veterans." #GOPDebate playing fast and loose with the definition of "question."