Kelly Turner

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Hey it's kelly! 1 of your host for tonights show. Please let us know about a fruit you wanna hear a story about! #YegPKN36

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Why do I have to be hungry 4 times a day? I can't afford this.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Spent 3 hours on the phone with service canada so I could get paid... to pay for that phone call

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

@localcryptid_ "What is gintama?" (Is this proof that Im dead?)

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Everyday I make a wish at 23:23 and everyday my wish to better understand military time doesn't come true.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Im gonna get in so much trouble for this. - Everyone who works on a winter patio and woke up to see all this snow.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Todays horiscope: Take a bath so fuckin filthy that you have to shower after it
Me:

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Me trying to sound productive: Sorry I can't I'm in meetings all day
Me at the meeting:

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

For breakfast we are serving toast with McDavid's face on it. And remember, here at Denny's you are what you eat, so today you'll be a hero shackled to a city you don't want to save for 4 more years.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Still in the "you got more on you than in you" phase of my development

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

No one ever says their dog is "just like a cat". But I've met countless dogs that ignore me then present their butthole to me as I lay on the couch and end the day with a 15 minute jellicle dance number as it hopes to die.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

I'll treat myself and buy 1 fancy candle then i'll buy 1500 cheap candles so the fancy one lasts forever. I burn loonies, not bills baby.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Now this is my kind of WAP!
https://t.co/HMzzS5pXop

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Nails polish has done for nail biting what hand sanitizer has done for finger lickin good food.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Im holding out hope that one day they save an Engineer, a Doctor, a Lawyer and an Improv Teacher to help out with the resistance in The Handmaids Tale.

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Organized my "saved posts" on instagram, I am experiencing the same rush as when I organize my email. Everything is organized and left unread in both cases 🤙🏽🤙🏽🤙🏽

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Inspirational music swells as muse stands at door way ready to change their life (solare flare in frame) they reach for the door knob. Cut too muse swiping while lying on the couch chorteling to themself while they text strangers. #tinderkilledromcoms

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

Nail clippers, the scissors of your bedroom, regardless of how much you may have your "shit together".

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

(•Ů•) , Dr. Manhattan if he was caauuuute AF

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

@JoeLemYEG Yyeeeeesssssss

[Kelly Turner @NthngSspcs]

A person wearing a nice shirt to a nice event: "I wore this shirt because I thought it was fitting... it's a medium."