Null Greene

Honestly just an account where I can shamelessly shitpost in peace

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Me: I'm not like the others you've met.
Her: ...Show me.
Me: 𝓑𝓲𝓽𝓮𝓼 𝓭𝓲𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓹𝓸𝓹𝓼𝓲𝓬𝓵𝓮

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Encountered a Buff Santa making his list and checking it twice at the grocery store. Someone's halls are getting decked.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

In the distant future, archaeologists will uncover the fossilized remains of that one Easter egg I never found.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Thought I lost this account, and it was one of my main emails the entire time. Oh well. Time to shitpost.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Here lies Brandon; he incinerated his fingertips on chicken tenders, and then died of equal parts shock, disappointment, and starvation.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Two people in two days have called me "Prince", and I just

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

A man entered the bus, and sat next to me. A few stops later, he exited. It has been five minutes since then. Why is his scent still here?

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

About to Kamesennin the shit out of these groceries. #HappyFourth

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

This bus driver just took that turn like he was in "Prisoner of Azkaban"; fucking scared the shit out of me.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

A man parked his car in front of the bus stop I was at, in 115+ degree weather, simply to compliment my hair. Not even the sun stops them.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Grocery Cashier: *Begins ringing up apples*
Me: *Trying to help* Ah, those are Gala.
GC: I'm well, how are you?
Me: Um...alright.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Vending machine jammed on first attempt, gave me both sodas on the second. Tonight's trial shall be an exercise in self-restraint.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Me: How sweet; that kid has a flower-shaped balloon animal

Kid: *Puts it down, picks up one shaped like an AK-47, points at mom*

Me: Oh

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

If you refuse to hire a dyslexic programmer, is that discrimination or just good business sense? #LateNightThoughts #butItsMorning

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

My summer home~

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

If I had even a tenth of the drugs people keep asking me for, I'd actually be able to afford a console.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Who do I speak with about rerolling? Preferrably into a class that doesn't have allergies.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

The battery in my wall clock finally died after five or so years. Rest in peace, little one.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Forgot to mention, I finally found my neighborhood's resident 'shirtless-black-dude-smoking-a-cigarette-on-the-phone' this morning.

[Null Greene @NullGreene]

Last night, you stated you would be getting a full night's rest; the lie detector determined that was a lie.