nyc blonde

kelli but forever nyc blonde 🗽 painfully average looking with a great sense of humor ✨

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

Olympic gold medalist in getting under a man’s skin

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

Olympic gold medalist in getting under a man’s skin

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

the name Butker actually stems from the Norman-French word butuiller or butler which today would loosely mean "I wish i would have married my mommy who make my dinner and rub my tummy when it's doing a hurty"

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

The world is imploding but I just overheard the pest control guy who sprays my apartment for roaches tell my super that he thinks I’m beautiful 🥰🥰

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

Starting an email with “I appreciate your patience” when the recipient has been anything but patient.

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

my ex used to get annoyed with me over the silliest things i did which made me feel sooo dumb and that's how i KNOW i was blinded by love because he was barely 5'9"

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

i'm only here because the men i'm trying to ghost follow me on instagram

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

i forgot the wonder of throwing your hair to the wind and tweeting a vomitorium of thoughts as they come to you I'M BACK BABY

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

it's just occurred to me i have no idea what the going rate for feet pics is

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

started from the bottom (twitter) now we here (still near the bottom)
https://t.co/DjcWkzaDyb

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

foot pics available $200

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

The correct flirt to roast ratio is him flirting with me while I roast him until he asks to leave

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

****shouting into the abyss****

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

Just found out a man I briefly dated is in federal prison for embezzlement and this is the kind of messy plot line that makes me a super interesting dinner party guest

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

If you ever want to start a conversation with a hot man you don’t know, ask him why we can’t just print more money???

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

Stop referring to yourself as a sapiosexual, you’re just a slut

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

The issue with dating high value men is they give really good gifts and now that we’ve broken up this vintage Hermes bracelet feels like the worlds heaviest handcuff

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

A Revel driver just told me the company is owned by Pfizer and that's why the cars are blue.... to remind you of Viagra... Or little Viagra fueled sperms darting around the cess pool cervix that is nyc 💙💙💙💙

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

my boyfriend does this cute thing where he doesn't know i exist

[nyc blonde @NYC_Blonde]

*changing my settings so my iphone never shows me my ex’s face*

my iphone: but don’t you want to see a montage of the romantic weekend trip you took together????