Topher

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

At teachers office hours
“Actually you should probably add this to your notes”

Me rummaging through a backpack visibly overflowing with Rice Krispies treats
“Heh heh I should really get more organized”

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

Really hoping my girlfriend gets me some sort of contraption for Christmas

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

I want to be a background character in a @Tostitos commercial so fucking bad

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

Me: *crying in the bathroom at work*

Kind stranger: *slips Nintendo switch joycon underneath the stall*

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

@MyWifeLeftMe456 Monday morning breakfast log:
-Two eggs Benedict
-1 avocado pit
-3 tbs vanilla extract
-3 habanero peppers
-orange flavor pre workout

P: 90g
C: 120g
F: 14%

[richard @richard_normal]

me (no beers): i will never read from the human skin bound book of the dead. i will not chant it’s dark messages.

me (four beers, smiling): hell, lemme see that book of the dead, brother. what’s one rune reading among friends?

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

A.I. could never replace my job of blacking out and pissing in the closet

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

@Tmass01 This means a lot, thank you

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

I wish I had haters. Nobody praying on my downfall right now, nobody even wishing I wasn’t up

[Matt C @theMadgician]

@Ober1kanobi Boo Chris Ober BOO!

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

@theMadgician Ok sick, maybe start casual like saying “fuck that guy” to yourself if you see or hear anything about me then if you feel like it down the road you can start to actively spread malinformation to those closest to me

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

Imagine you a caveman running full tilt after a wooly mammoth and you stub your toe

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

@tabiona9 Zen in the Art of Archery is great for discipline and is a short read

[Ashraf El Zarka @aelzarka]

Reflection of the sky and clouds on a rice field to make the scene look like it is from another world ❤️🤍

[Vala Afshar @ValaAfshar]

This is why football is a beautiful sport

[St. Blunt @St_Blunt]

the unemployed friend at 2:30pm on a tuesday

[Philadelphia Union @PhilaUnion]

DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO SEND Y'ALL HOME TO

[Fascinating @fasc1nate]

A parasitic worm has turned this snail into a "zombie" that mimics caterpillars to be eaten by a bird, where it can reproduce inside its GI tract.
https://t.co/okiKzeoXZA

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

If I performed all of Hotel California by the Eagles including the guitar solo with just my voice and an air guitar the ramifications to history would be incomprehensible

[Topher @Ober1kanobi]

If I was stuck far enough back in time I would just sing every song I know by heart. By todays standards it’s a weird playlist but in 1620 it would melt brains