1 Observation a Day

It started as a challenge to make one observation a day for an entire year. Now I can't stop.

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The dust will never settle.

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Dogs are how I want to view the world. Cats are how I actually view the world.

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

The greatest onomatopoeiatic word in the English language is “discombobulated.”

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

The #1 thing people say in meetings to sound intelligent and then never actually act on is “let’s A/B test that.”

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

Why is it only the MLB has to do that stupid "without express written consent" disclaimer?

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

Boomers don't hear you. Gen Xers don't understand you. Millennials don't have time for you. Gen Zers don't get back to you.

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There are too many people named Lexi.

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If I could sum up what separates the Nordic European vibe from the American vibe, it's this: After 10 days in Iceland, Denmark and Sweden, I never once heard a guy gun his car engine to draw attention to his small penis.

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

We don't have to worry about the loneliness epidemic and general lack of human connection anymore because we now have multiple options to watch other people do it.

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

Everyone wants to GET attention, but no one's willing to PAY attention. Which basically means we're all thieves.

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

Somewhere in the multiverse, there's a planet where everything is the same as Earth, except Roget and Fodor switched places, so they have books like "Fodor's Nouns" and "Roget's 3,000 Synonyms for 'Travel.'"

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If someone wants to acknowledge your compliment without actually believing it, they say, "Thanks for saying that."

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Today, there are two reliable political headlines:

"Trump Is Losing His Base"

and

"Latest Trump Action Has Support of 90+% of Republicans"

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93.7% of “say hi for me” requests go unfulfilled.

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

I've never heard someone describe themselves as a "New Testament literalist."

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At a time when phones make no question unanswerable, people still love to go to bars and do trivia.

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If you're up for it, I can prove to you that "up" and "down" mean the same thing. But only if you're down for it.

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With its blend of pagan and Jewish traditions, Christianity is really the tribute band of religions.

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The question is "when do you know that a sports media outlet has jumped the shark?" The answer is "when they publish power rankings for NHL goalie masks."

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War, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing. Well, except for opposing monarchy, starting the United States and defeating Hitler. But other than that, nothing!

[1 Observation a Day @ObservationADay]

Annette Bening and Elizabeth Warren are approaching The Singularity.