Jack O’Connells Ego

The best player in DIII Lacrosse... people often ask me, “Jack how do you do it?” and I say, “Shut up. I ask the questions around here.”

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

I find it funny how you think I’m still “job searching”. Lol. While you’re all slaving away at your cubicles im on the beach, making more money with one maneuver than you will all quarter. I’m a self employed, entrepreneur... and shit, these parlays aren’t gonna bet themselves

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

@_giff__ @CMinicus2 Bet that kid couldn’t even tell a chinstrap from a jockstrap... you wanna experience real lacrosse? Take a trip down to the Cenntenial kid

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Graduated and earned my degree today from Dickinson College. In addition, I was also was the Guest of Honor Commencement Speaker for my alma-mater (also being Dickinson College). You could imagine why my classmates were confused at first, but then again... were they really?

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

I don’t use turn signals when I drive cause it’s none of your business where I’m going*

*its probably somewhere above your socioeconomic status

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Well, I’ve done it. I’m the single best not only lacrosse player, but person, to ever grace this Earth. And the numbers prove it.The only thing longer than my list of accolades from this season is my cock. God its big. Anyways, here it is...You’re welcome

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

The 3 eyed raven looking back at my career like...
#GOATout

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Wow Donald. We’ve done it again! As I always say, “if you ain’t got haters you ain’t poppin!”
... Anyways, can’t wait to get back on the links with you this summer and do our thing #sinkingputts&nailingsluts

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

We can all agree that AMERICA is now #1. We are the ENVY of the WORLD — and the best is yet to come!

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Yeah it’s true- I got checked in the dick Saturday. How did I respond? Told the kid who checked me not to play with his food and then ripped one from 15 bar deez....Hey Wycoff, u up?

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

There are 3 things I absolutely love in this world: far right political policies, a nice natural pair of breasts, and dominating absolutely anybody who crosses paths with me on the table. Better luck next year fellas.
#undisputedchampion

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Happy Easter Mr President! You’re truly an American hero.

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

Happy Easter! I have never been happier or more content because your Country is doing so well, with an Economy that is the talk of the World and may be stronger than it has ever been before. Have a great day!

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

🚨🚨Attention all D3 Goalies and Defenders🚨🚨

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Ligma you may be entitled to financial compensation. Ligma is a rare disease linked to exposure of guarding Jack O’Connell.

Please don't wait, call 1800-LIGMA-BALLS today!

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

“Tufts v Bates is on! Come in here if u wanna watch some high level D3 lacrosse” my roommates said.

No thanks, I’ll just look in the mirror

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Well, I’ve done it. I’ve recorded 69 points for the season. And let me be clear I could have 2000 if I wanted to. I’ve CHOSEN to have 69 points. Why? Because it’s not enough to just win, I want to make love to the crowd.

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Just ordered an UberXL to the caf, and it wasn’t a limo...?

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Bad day to be anybody but me

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Watching Williams vs Tufts. Williams down 1 goal. 30 seconds left. Has possession.
OC: “If we’re ever in this situation, give me the ball and get the fuck out the way”

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Some days I just don’t give a fuck.

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

With all the hoopla over my 100th career goal, I nearly forgot to congratulate the 2nd best player on the team, Nate Usich, on winning Centennial Defensive Player of the Week. I remember my first CPotW award. God third grade was the best!

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Well, another week, another accolade - Centennial Player of the Week - AGAIN. What can I say? I’ve practically been shitting these things out on command. Hey @AustinHurdle come wipe my ass

[Jack O’Connells Ego @OCsEgo]

Saturday night fun fact: I have never lost a game of 21 cup.
(But thanks to false cheating accusations from envious opponents, my talents are seldom recognized)