Batman / Bruce Wayne

Not the CEO Wayne Enterprises deserves, but the one it needs right now. I'm the Goddamn Office Batman.
[email protected]

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

If you're a multi-billionaire and don't even TRY to use your fortune to become Batman, I don't get you at all.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

When you ask one of your employees to get you a drink and they bring you a Coke.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

"Why do we fall, Master Bruce?"
"Good question, Alfred. I'll have to get OH&S to look into it."

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Alright, the subject of today's meeting is ... INJUSTICE.

First person to groan or say, "Again?!" gets a Batarang to the face.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

"Why so serious?"
Well, I've got lots going on right now. Reports to read, meetings, etc. Plus, thugs murdered my parents so there's that.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

I'd rather spend a week suppressing a mass riot of criminally insane villains at Arkham Asylum than attend a staff meeting.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

I built the Batmobile and Batwing from scratch but I still can't get this goddamn photocopier to stop jamming every second page.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Batarang, batarang, smoke bomb, grappling hook, Scarecrow's neurotoxin antidote.
I can NEVER find business cards in this utility belt.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

No, you can't "text" me.
If you need me, fire up the Bat Signal like a normal person.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

I like my coffee like I like my superheroes: strong, dark and FULL OF JUSTICE.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Robin, you stop wearing those little green tights and I'll THINK about adding you to my professional network on LinkedIn.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Not a #NFL fan, but I AM a huge fan of punching Bane in the face. Expect the lights at the #SuperBowl to be back on shortly. #LightsOut

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

If you're on Santa's Naughty List you get a lump of coal for Christmas. If you're on MY Naughty List you get a Batarang to the face.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Don't worry, you guys. No way I'm letting the world end tomorrow. I keep all my stuff here.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

To everyone at the Staff Christmas Party: yes, I will cover "Santa's" medical bills.
GENUINELY thought he was a festively-themed villain.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Not normally a cat fan, but something about this guy makes me happy. #CatBatman

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

My CV is just the words "I'M BATMAN" written above a photo of me punching the Riddler in the balls.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Hey, I just met you and this is crazy but I'm the Batman and I just broke your clavicle in 17 places. #BatSignalMeMaybe

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Finally, if you'll turn to p. 74 of the Financial Report, you'll see I've drawn me punching Joker in the face. Meeting adjourned.

[Batman / Bruce Wayne @OfficeBatman]

Wish someone had told me about the office Halloween party BEFORE I hospitalised the 5 Jokers, 3 Banes and 2 Riddlers I found in the lobby.