YOUR CUN NEWSROOM TEAM
CEO: CU
COO: Michael Defledhead
SA Division Head: Blake Palmer
Anti-Corruption + Reporter: An Alligator
CFO: Alfred Skitterly
Reporters: Mike Kushner, Cosmic Miller, Chris Lopez
Working hard to make CUN A Three Letter Organization You Can Trust.
Season's Greetings: Coalition Of African, Middle Eastern Cities Preparing "Gift Package" For Los Santos Ahead Of Christmas
"That crime ridden murder hellscape makes our cities look livable in comparison, and for that we are grateful." A translated press release stated.
Condom And Sex Toys Industries In Trouble? Latest 2022 Q3 Data Shows 69% Drop In Sales Over Last Decade As Modern Teen Males Gain "All Natural Contraception" Through "Being Obese Internet Porn and/or Anime Obsessed Losers"
https://t.co/gRhrwyNo0U
Eyes on Washington: Reports Of White House Disfunction Caused By Alleged Post-Divorce Tension Between Pres. Thompson and Vice President Miller Dissuaded By National Security Advisor Peter Chambers On Social Media: "Cosmic still calls her baby."
Business Giant Chambers International Pilots New, Secure Hiring Process, Invites Job Applicants To Share Personal Information Over Bleeter Direct Messaging Feature
Election 2022: Independent outsider Thompson-Miller ticket beats Republican incumbent Kushner-Linklater ticket, getting 50% of the electoral college.
By available data, the election appears to have had the lowest nationwide turnout in history.
Election 2022 Breaking: President Kushner gave a statement to CUN on behalf of his presidential campaign as ballots are being counted.
"No matter the election outcome, don't let the values of true Republicanism die off." the incumbent stated.
Election Night 22: White House showdown between Kushner-Linklater and Thompson-"Melon Destroyer" attracts attention of tens of Americans; most others "don't give a sh*t"
In The Headlines: Possible chickenpox outbreak in SA has 100s of schoolchildren excited; social media giant Bleeter purchased for $44 million; and tech analysts release their predictions for the next-gen iFruit and xPhone models: "A new higher price for a slightly better camera."
Discovery of the Century: Robada Governor Michael Defledhead stunned the world today when he discovered that living in a desert means that water is more scarce.
Local News Los Santos: Secretary of State Chris Lopez nostalgically relives law enforcement days by committing a crime, as pointed out by convenience store CEO