Mallory Claire

Divorced dad energy with mom responsibilities.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Rando on Bumble: Let me see a pic of you
Me: Nah, you couldn’t handle it
Rando: I can handle you any way you are
Me:

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Just to add to my Monday, the hot dad from after school care just drove up with a license plate saying ‘daddy’.
RIP my attraction.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Look the trailer may be trash but I’m here for the old timey looking poster for surreeeee 🥵

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

The first poster for Emerald Fennell’s ‘WUTHERING HEIGHTS’ starring Margot Robbie & Jacob Elordi.

In theaters Valentine’s Day.

[Zohran Kwame Mamdani @ZohranKMamdani]

my brother, this isn’t garlic and we’re not vampires

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

I have this bookmarked on every platform I see it and downloaded on my phone. Truly the best video of the year.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

It’s weirdly refreshing to see crazy politicians outside of the US.
✨We’re not alone✨

[Syrian Girl @Partisangirl]

Journalist: “You’ve got Lebanese heritage”

@BobKatter “Don’t mention that or I’ll kill you!”

Imagine physically shaking, and being on the verge of tears and violence because someone mentions your ethnicity.

Imagine hating yourself that much.

[Subscribe to the You Know Ball Patreon @TrillBroDude]

Taylor Swift not being gay is worse than my grandfather dying is unfortunately the funniest thing that has ever been said

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

TAYLOR GODDAMNIT STOP DOING THINGS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORKDAY I WILL LOSE MY JOB

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Dudes are so weird because what do you mean ghosting? It’s been less than 24 hours I’m so confused

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

As an alum, there was an after party that would make a Radford student blush.

[Sean Feucht @seanfeucht]

Gen Z is falling in love with Jesus. 🔥🙏🏽

Tonight at Liberty University.🤯

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Pretty savage reaction from my grandma when I told her I couldn’t do dinner tonight.

[Seth Meyers @sethmeyers]

She also disliked him, FWIW

[marley ❤️‍🔥 @marleyharper]

me when my boss asks why i’m distracted at work today https://t.co/rDtdRcwzSM

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Taylor, please. I’m trying to work.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

Taylor Swift has started a new countdown for 2PM ET.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

There was a lot missing out of my family planning (like any sort of plan), but truly the worst of it is having his birthday the same week as the first week of school. Every. Damn. Year. I’m exhausted, broke, and overstimulated.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

She is either the most insane or smartest person ever. Only time shall tell.

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

Katisha, babe. You picked Wickham over Darcy. That man will never be Mr Darcy. #LoveIsBlindUK

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

“My spleen is silent” is not a phrase I should be familiar with. #LoveIsBlindUK

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

And I will enjoy every single second

[DRINK WATER❄️❄️❄️❄️ @bravomfbravo1]

Salt Lake City every season #RHOSLC

[Mallory Claire @OfficiallyMal]

I’m like 30 minutes into season but if Billy and Ashleigh aren’t end game #LoveIsBlindUK

[effy ｡꩜˚⋆ @strawbhaze]

rip evelyn hugo you would’ve loved the life of a showgirl