Michelle Simpson

Amazing, adorable and full of useless trivia.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I wonder why I’m so bloated and squishier than usual.
….
….
Probably eating from the 2lb bag of party mix before bed.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I’ve decided this new year I will regress to my 2008 self. Emo music and being an asshole.
Watch out world, the gremlin is coming.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

If you’re going through hell, keep going. That’s the last place you want to stop, or you won’t get out

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

All my hopes of looking all cute and crap were dashed today.
Perfect outfit in mind and you think I can find that damn dress?! No

So it’s return of the bum today.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Sometimes I forget that my dad is not used to some of my darker humour.
Might get committed later, we shall see.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Goo goo dolls has a song for every god damn emotion.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

We had one job today, one. Fucking hell.
Enjoy our health care and education getting even worse, rich getting richer and your little bribes that comes from your taxes.
Can’t. Fucking. Wait

Can’t wait to see everyone fumble the federal election.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

How do people not know about house hippos?! Like damn, we had commercials about them and everything.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I don’t actually remember the last time I spoke to my childhood best friend in person/phone/“proper messaging” but, we send like 8+ reels and memes a day so I’m gonna say this his friendship is solid

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Now he does something we can all agree on

[Sarnia News Today @sarnianewstoday]

Starting Tuesday, Canada will be imposing 25 per cent tariffs on $30 billion worth of American goods.
https://t.co/2l8TO8BMDy

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I like how people don’t get that @MatthewLillard was supposed to be back for the second scream but they didn’t do it because the idea was leaked.

So now they just tell us all. I don’t even care if he’s the killer, I need this.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

My brain cannot comprehend the cool ranch and dill pickle Doritos. On their own, good. Together? Doesn’t sounds right at all.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Finally finished season 2 of Shrinking. Did I cry? Of fucking course I did.
Did I cry more, realizing that I will have to wait probably over a year for season 3? Yes
Yes I fucking did.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Um excuse me? @jasonsegel did not win the Golden Globe?! Who the hell is in charge of that voting.
This is top tier performance and shows how versatile this man is.
Like come on.
It’s because they haven’t let him include muppet Dracula, isn’t it?

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I can feel it….

Tonight is going to be one of those nights where I fall asleep with my glasses on, lose them in my bed, and then just pray I don’t lay on them and break them. And then will have to put my contacts in to find them.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I like when I tell my grandma(88) I’m sick again and she says she has (thankfully) not gotten anything major. So I remind her that she is much healthier than I am in every aspect.
This lady must be protected at all costs.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Well… I have discovered I cannot do Lego with anyone but myself or my boyfriend.
So there’s that.

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I got the cutest call from someone’s dad or grandpa in Albany, New York. He left a voice mail, asking how the day went. How’s the family, did they go to church.
If he calls again I’ll let him know he misdialed, probably hit 9 instead 8.

Hope his family calls him though

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

I don’t even wear a lot of makeup anymore but I had a dream of a beautiful blush/bronzer/highlighter pallet and I need it to be real. Because it was beautiful and all the shades were perfection.

Like the imagination adventure begin!

[Michelle Simpson @OfficialMichele]

Fuck .