Offline CJ

Monogram Designer, Custom Apparel shop based in Lagos.. if it’s funny tag me, if it’s serious like Nigeria problems avoid me, Nwa Afo

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

Let’s keep this here because pinned tweet got boring

[CHIMAOBI 🐅 @chimaobi_saint]

🚨🎙️ Journalist: “Emi, Ronaldo or Messi?”

🗣️ Emiliano Martínez: “Don’t compare Ronaldo to Messi, compare him to me… we both stay in the box.” 😂

Martínez laughs before continuing…

“But seriously, the reality for me is Messi is the GOAT. No disrespect to Ronaldo, he’s one of the greatest ever and what he has achieved is incredible. But for me, Messi is above everyone.” 🐐🇦🇷

🎙️ Journalist: “So Messi over Ronaldo?”

🗣️ Emiliano Martínez: “Every day of the week.” 😅🐐

[Rulia 🇨🇦 @ruliashino]

The most insane part to me is that he did this at THIRTY-FIVE YEARS OLD AND PLAYED EVERY SINGLE MINUTE OF THE TOURNAMENT.

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

It's common knowledge
Let assume, you dated 5 men, 3 never proposed marriage to you, 2 proposed, you reject one and accepted 1

Swear to God that if all decisions was yours to make you will still chosen the one you married?

[Aku N’esi Obi Ike (I) @Kasieobi_1]

“Except you married your wife a virgin, she wishes she married one of her exes, and not you. 95% of married women wish they were married to one of their exes,” a Nigerian woman says.

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

@Enjighe @Kasieobi_1 You dated different men that didn't propose marriage to you and you want to tell me that it is that one who proposed to you that you really want to marry

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

@ernest_mcfc @TouchlineX "This guy" but you ended up saying BG the same thing he said, sometimes, game by game

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

Any man that married an Igbo woman needs to step up and act, this has to be stopped, I don't even understand how a man will be in the same house and watch his wife maltreat another child continuously, Men needs to be men again

[Onwa_Nnewi @Kene_Nnewi]

IGBO WOMEN will never beat this allegation ...

The burial of Precious Ndubuisi from Uhueze Nenwe who was beaten to death by her madam..
She was buried yesterday in her family compound Umuewo Uhueze Nenwe.

IGBO WOMEN needs to be tamed...it's gradually turning into something else....

[Global UPDATES @GlobalUpdates24]

🇦🇷⚽ Argentina FIFA men's ranking:

2000 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 3rd
2001 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 2nd
2002 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 5th
2003 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 5th
2004 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 3rd
2005 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 4th
2006 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 3rd
2007 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 1st
2008 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 6th
2009 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 8th
2010 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 5th
2011 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 10th
2012 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 3rd
2013 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 3rd
2014 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 2nd
2015 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 2nd
2016 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 1st
2017 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 4th
2018 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 11th
2019 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 9th
2020 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 7th
2021 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 5th
2022 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 2nd
2023 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 1st
2024 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 1st
2025 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 2nd
2026 ➜ 🇦🇷 Argentina: 1st

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

This who lives anywhere around, Lekki, ikate, Ajah, Sangotedo, Badore
Can relate properly

[Sobola @kunz8504]

Even in the poorest countries, there are rich people. In fact, there are also poor people in rich countries

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

@hashtagtweets Lol, this is literally every where on the Lagos island

[⚡️🇧🇼 @Priceless_MCI]

I’m starting to think those Messi training stories from his teammates weren't exaggerated at all 😭

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

On this day in 2022, the world became normal, everything felt properly placed, the football world paid it's debt

[Aura Sports @TheAuraSports]

The Moment Argentina Won the 2022 FIFA World Cup 🏆

[Slimdaddy @slimdaddyoflife]

This was and is still the best day of my life. No day can ever top this, im sorry not even Arsenal winning the champions league…I almost ran mad on this day🤣😂 Lionel mi

[Aura Sports @TheAuraSports]

The Moment Argentina Won the 2022 FIFA World Cup 🏆

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

Honestly speaking..
workshop stress is like no other, you are just there seated and observing, you are not the one doing the work but you'll be so exhausted at the end of the day, your whole body will feel like you single handedly lifted a truck to your shoulders

[Tope A teacher & A Farmer I Will Never Give Up 💪) @Tope_Orus]

I TOOK MY WIFE SOMEWHERE SHE NEVER EXPECTED

My wife has a PhD in b@shing car. I don't know if I'm the only one experiencing this or it's a thing with most women.

If she drives to town and come back, you must see a new dent. But she will always be like "I was on my own jeje when one man came to h!t me"... Lori iro!

Sometimes, she will deny totally that it was not when she dr∅ve the car that it got the dent. She can even say I should ask my side chics that I used to give lift 😭

I'll keep quiet, carry car and go and fix it. Sometimes, I may spend the whole day in the mechanic shop.

Once I bring it back, madam will carry it and go and do as she used to do again.

If I talk, she will say me I should take my key now. It's car that I have, I'm not God. She will even say because I refused to buy a separate one for her, that's why I'm always noticing everything.

I thought of what I could do to stop her from driving like a b@nd!t 🤣😂

3 weeks ago, on a Saturday morning, very early around 8a.m, I told her, baby dress up, let me take you out.

She rushed and bathe, and sprayed perfume, and said let's go.

We passed all the places we usually go to relax, so she was wondering where we were going. She asked...

Wify: Babe, we've passed where we used to go and chill oo. Where are we going?

Me: Don't worry, I just discovered a new joint in town. You will looooove it!

I could see the excitement, the joy on her face.

I drove her straight to the mechanic shop...

Wify: Babe, what are we doing here?

Me: Oh, sorry dear. I just want the mechanic to quickly fix the small dent. It doesn't take long oo. Before you know it, he has finished. Once he's done like this, we'll go and chup life.

Wifey: Okay oo. No problem.

I excused the mechanic and planned with him to waste time very well!

Then I told my wife that my boss asked me to go and attend to an emergency, so, she should help me stay with the car. I promised not to take long.

That was how I left madam with car oo.

1 hour, 2 hours, 4 hours, 6 hours....

She called and called, I kept telling her I would soon finish.

I got there around 4pm and saw her looking very angry. She come swell up like bread wey dem soak inside tea 🤣😂

I started begging her oo... Oh my baby, I'm sorry. It was my boss that delayed oo. I even called mechanic to comman join me to beg her 🤣🤣

And I shouted at the mechanic for wasting my queen's precious time0😛😜

Well, time was already approaching 5pm, so, I asked her...

Me: Babe, can we go to where we wanted to go now?

Wifey: By this time? Noo. I'm tired please, just take me home, let me go and rest. All my body is paining me.

In my mind, I said "Thank you, Jesus" 😛😜

That was how we came back home quietly.

I promised her that we'd go out when next I have chance 😜

Ladies and gentlemen, here's the sweet part of the gist...my wife has driven for good three weeks now, even small bash like this, she did not bash. No new dent on the car.

As we were going out today, I asked her to drive.

One keke man was just following her closely. She lowered the glass and brought out her head and shouted "Oga, no bash me oo"

I said "Bravo! This is the woman I married"

Now, I have realized that sometimes, the way to make women adjust is not to keep doing gentleman. Just use wisdom with a little touch of egusi for egusi.

Now that she has seen how stressful it is in mechanic's shop, she don calm down by herself.

Please, nobody should tag my wife to this post, I'm not feeling fine 🙄

OBINRIN BURU O!

🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️

© John Adesogan
#Copied

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

@ShinaFasheun @Tope_Orus It doesn't matter, before she leaves she would've felt some of the heat

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

If this young girl is a house help then this is child labour

[Chinaza (Nwaanyịnightwear) @NwaAdaIgbo1]

Look at this picture closely
What do you think is wrong with it?
They have been roasting her on Facebook

[Juan @socraticjuan]

The face of a warrior that’s lived through it all and finally arrives to a World Cup without any pressure on him.

[Offline CJ @OfflineCjay]

@CHIZZY_BB Lmao 🤣
Them no born any Toyota interior well, to compete with this

[Babalola Esq.⚖️ @Owiggy_]

You no like hotel and me sef no like restaurant.

Shey make we meet for petrol station?🙂‍↔️

[Jude Ụkadịlọnụ 🇳🇬 @jude_ukadilonuu]

I hope the entire world finds my art. 🤍