Robert Emerson

On the north-side of Dublin born and raised,
Comfortably middle-class is how I spent most of my days.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

"What does cum taste like?"
"Salt and your parents' disappointment."

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

I spent it eating Nutella out of a jar and studying. You guys? #irishwater

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Trying to force out the poop before your phone runs out of battery </3
#firstworldproblems

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

I can't get on the bus with Burger King but drunk ass people who are going to puke everywhere can? #DoubleStandards

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Favourite past-time? Reading embarrassing names on grindr aloud on the bus.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Anniversary mass...
Priest: "Jew falls..."
Brain: "I really hope everyone thinks those are years of sadness."

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Okay I'll start using twitter again... #SociallyDefeated

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Getting back up onto the saddle... And then; oh hello again rock bottom! Long time no see.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Women are like strawberries; they're pretty and smell nice, but i just don't really see the attraction.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

So my mam apparently went to Spain this evening to get toothbrushes

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Captain Archer from Star Trek: Enterprise playing random gay man in a sauna in Looking... Never had gay Star Trek fantasies but if you do...

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Sometimes I wonder if being straight would be good... Then I get drunk and watch Mamma Mia and remember why I like what I am.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Every time i click my fingers, a drunk white chick in a bar drops her phone and breaks it

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Aaaaand now ive dropped my phone and cracked the screen... Best night ever.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Rhyme the first:
The seat ensconced beneath the tv
Is ever vacated for (fuck it I'm bad at poems) those of us who don't like sports.

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Sitting alone in a pub one starts to realise why sports are important to know about. What the fuck is happening?

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

@soc1226 Ring Anna, ring other B-Town peeps

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

@soc1226 Get Liam and Anna and stuff to go down to you, it's Liam's burfday

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

At this point my life sucks to the most extent possible... But why be sad? It's not as bad as people make out "the worst" to be
Enjoy it

[Robert Emerson @OhNoNoItsRoRo]

Bathroom walls now slightly more green
#IJustGaggedOnListerine