Longjohn McDinklesnake III

the opossum taking up residence under your porch

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

POV you are now a licensed medical professional

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

How many aura points do I lose for asking my tattoo artist if she’s mad at me

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Babe wake up Trisha Paytas k-pop just dropped

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

On some shit jehova hasn’t even witnessed

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Without whimsy life is just shitting and wiping and dying fr

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Hey pal you just blow in from Hinkletown

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Every time one of my exes friends likes me on a dating app I involuntarily elicit a cartoon-like evil laugh and gain 100 HP

[tyler burden ✮⋆˙ @raunakxc]

how did people even tell pigeons where to deliver stuff man what the fuck

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Would you rather be a strawberry with human thoughts or a human with strawberry thoughts

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

@a8065287968522 Immaculate

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Imagine having to tell people you’re from a place called fucking Hinkletown

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

U know what they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it take enough ketamine to drown in it

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Heavy is the hand that flicks the bean

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

If I can’t pull up to the function emanating a sense of whimsy and general tomfoolery do not invite me

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Drunk shittin in the chilis bathroom and I’ve never felt closer to god

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

To jork or not to jork

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

mmmm cigrit

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

@jacksfilms Would you rather fight 100 chicken sized bears or 1 bear sized chicken

[clare @sadderlizards]

just decided that everything will be okay

[Longjohn McDinklesnake III @OJsampson]

Inside you are two wolves. Autism and whimsy