KING J

Heritage-driven.
Results-focused.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

I want to go visit my boyfriend:

A woman who cares about him:

🍖🍗🥩🍔🍟🍕🍲🥞

A woman who cares about his pocket:

🪒

End.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Let me sound this as a note of warning to you young stupid men.

If you are currently giving your girlfriend monthly allowance, do not marry her.

If you marry her, you'll be marrying a prostitute.

Even if you were the one that deflowered her.

Men don't buy their wives.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Many young people today are slowly turning romantic relationships into business arrangements.

What does he have?

What can she offer?

Who is paying?

What am I gaining?

Love is beginning to sound like negotiation.

There is nothing wrong with wanting a financially responsible partner or having expectations in a relationship.

But when benefits become the foundation of your relationship, something is wrong.

A healthy relationship is one where two people genuinely care about each other.

You are not there only because he pays your bills, or because she gives you something you want (toto).

You stay because there is affection, respect, friendship, honesty and a desire to grow together.

Transactional relationships can be sweet while the benefits are flowing.

The real question is, what happens when circumstances change?

If the money stops, does the relationship stop too?

If beauty fades, will you still choose that person?

If someone loses their job or goes through a difficult season, does the relationship suddenly lose its meaning?

Young people need to understand that a partner is not an investment or poverty alleviation scheme.

Neither should anyone allow themselves to be treated like an ATM, a trophy, a body, or a stepping stone.

Of course, I know that love alone doesn't pay bills.

Compatibility, ambition, financial stability and kindness matter.

But those things should support a relationship, not replace its heart.

Choose someone you can build with, not just someone you can benefit from.

Choose someone who respects you when there's nothing to gain. And most importantly, become that kind of person too.

Because at the end of the day, the best relationship isn't "What can I get from you?"

It is "How can we build something meaningful together?"

That is the kind of relationship that is worth having.

End.

[Wizkid @wizkidayo]

To see pretty shit u got to have pretty eyes

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Girlfriend monthly allowance should be renamed to "Olosho wage"

End.

[NneChukwu! @Okeke_Uz]

Agba, when my girl was like 17, 18, she said she would love to get married at 22 and even gave a go ahead I should look for a young man for her.

I no even argue. I just said, let's get there first.

She will be 21 in some days and before leaving for school today we had come to an agreement that it will be after 25.

She has understood that she has to build herself for herself, the man she will marry and the family she will eventually raise.

Maturity in all spheres of a woman's life is necessary for a marriage to thrive.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

We need to stop rushing young women into marriage.

Especially here in Africa where poverty is most prevalent.

A girl finishes school and before she has even properly figured out career, money, independence or herself, everybody suddenly becomes a marriage consultant.

“A serious man has come.”

“Don’t lose this opportunity.”

“You’re not getting younger.”

Please relax.

Marriage is not NYSC.

There is no compulsory age to complete it.

However, there is an age when it's expected that you should be married.

And that's mostly when you're above 25 and mature enough to make good decisions for yourself.

Your early 20s can change you seriously.

The person you are at 20 may not even recognise the decisions you make at 25.

So my argument isn't that women under 25 cannot make good wives. Of course some can.

My argument is that marriage is too serious to enter mainly because society says your time is running out.

Young women should have room to grow up, earn money, make mistakes, understand relationships and discover what they actually want from life.

If you find a genuinely healthy relationship at 23 and you're ready?

Beautiful.

But I'll always advise caution and taking your time.

If you're 27 and still single? Also beautiful.

Marriage should be about readiness, not panic.

And honestly, being single at 25 is far better than being trapped in the wrong marriage at 30.

Because that is what most young girls who were rushed into marriage at below 25, later get to discover.

By then, it will already be too late.

And even if they decide to leave the marriage, they cannot escape the divorcee or single mother tag.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

And if as a single lady, you're above 25 and in a serious relationship and still cheating, you don't have sense.

If your relationship is not serious, I can understand.

But where every detail is pointing towards the man being serious with you, and you're still busy fucking around, you're stupid.

You should have abandoned that lifestyle when you were younger.

If you're 28, 29, 30, 31, and your man is still catching you in infidelity, then you are not ready to become a wife.

If you want to pretend that you don't know, let me tell you:

The biggest threat to your being married is infidelity on your part.

Once a man can trust you to be faithful, it'll be hard for him not to choose you as his wife.

It doesn't matter if he didn't meet you as a virgin.

And certainly, it doesn't matter the body counts that you accumulated from failed relationships.

You can be jobless, and if a man feels comfortable that you're a faithful woman that he can trust, he doesn't mind marrying you.

And you may get far better treatment from him, as opposed to wives that are even bringing in money.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

If you look at your family background, your father's societal status, your siblings and their financial strength.

And you compare it with that of the man who says that he wants to marry you.

If the man's own is way above yours, please you may wish not to get married to him.

Otherwise, you may become his sex toy, and the sacrificial lamb of your family.

You'll be crying in a Benz but the world will think that you're happy.

If you confide in your parents over what you're going through, they'll be powerless and may not be able to call your husband to order, or even counsel him.

You'll hardly travel to go see your parents, neither can they even visit you to see their grandchildren.

Unless with the express approval of your husband and he'll give you limited time under close monitoring.

Everything will be made available to you: cars, maid, beautiful house, secured environment, etc.

But you'll be lonely.

You'll hardly have your friends visit you.

It's only social media that they'll be seeing your lifestyle and assume that you're in "heaven".

But only you and your immediate family know what you're really passing through in that marriage.

And if you say that you're tired and you want out of that marriage, you'll never find it easy.

The man and his family will torment your life.

You may not even be able to see your children until you return back to him.

That's the price you may have to pay when you do not build with a man, and you just want to run away from your poverty into wealth.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Pray not to have a bitter experience with a woman, where God is your ONLY witness.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Men who show more of "I don't care" attitudes to women receive the least heartbreaks.

Because they expect it to happen anyways.

But it rarely happens.

Rather, they're the ones who break women's hearts.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Some of these men that are in their mid 30s that want to marry you under 25s, just need you to make babies for them.

In that marriage, you'll be bored most of the time.

The men will struggle to relate with your reality and mostly abandon you at home and providing for you and the children.

They'll prefer to be hanging out with their peers (men and women), while you'd be home feeling lonely and dejected.

They'll only remember that they have a wife when they're in their late 40s, 50s and 60s.

By then, they'll feel that you're now mature enough, and they need you more because... Old age.

So make your selection of men if you may, but be prepared to experience what a generational gap can cause in your marriage.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Men are often told to look at a woman's beauty, character, family background and values before marriage.

I agree with that, but I want to also add another to it.

I would add something much simpler:

Look at what time she gets out of bed.

Yes, seriously!

A woman's morning routine can tell you a lot about the kind of wife you may be bringing into your home.

If every morning is a battle with the alarm clock, if she routinely sleeps away productive hours, if she has nowhere to be but still struggles to get herself moving, don't dismiss it simply because you are in love.

Pay attention.

Marriage is built in ordinary moments, not wedding pictures.

Eventually there will be responsibilities.

There may be children.

There may be school runs, business obligations, work, meals, appointments and unexpected problems.

The character required to manage those responsibilities doesn't suddenly appear after marriage.

You marry the habits that already exist.

So when I say a man should notice whether a woman wakes up early, I am not talking about whether the magical number is 5:00 or 6:30.

I am talking about what her morning reveals:

Discipline, initiative, responsibility, productivity and CONSISTENCY.

I had to capitalize consistency because women know how to pretend.

So do not get carried away by her short display of the idea of the wife that you need.

She needs to be consistent about her routine.

Because if it was something that she is used to right from childhood, it will be part of her character.

And her mother should play a major role in that.

Those things matter in a wife.

Before you put a ring on her finger, stop looking only at how she behaves when you take her out.

Look at how she lives when nobody is watching.

And this is why I keep emphasizing on cohabiting before marriage.

Her everyday routine may tell you far more about your future marriage than the version of herself she presents on a date.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Ever since I started dating my wife and cohabiting with her till date, I have never seen her beside me on the bed by 7am.

Except on few occasions when she was sick.

Some of you men are dating girls that will still be snoring by 8am.

You have not found your wife, yet.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Let me say something to you single ladies.

Some men derive pleasure in seeing you chat with them almost every day under the guise that they are in a relationship with you.

Some men can be chatting with you for 3 months, just to have an idea of what it feels like to chat with other women.

Some can make you start to have feelings for them, to the extent that you start exchanging nudes and doing sex video calls.

Not many are ready to even see you in person.

They just like the pleasure that chatting and calling bring to them.

A man that is serious, will initiate a planned physical meeting with you within a short period of getting to know you.

Not every day:

"Good morning sunshine ☀️"

"Good night my love"

"Have you eaten?"

"How was your night?"

"Let me see what you're wearing today"

"I love you my pumpkin"

Most of them are time wasters.

Some may even be married and some in serious relationship.

They have not gotten the opportunity to invite you over or come to see you to spend some days in a hotel.

Some may not have the resources.

And some, even before meeting you, will start to cook up stories of sympathy to bill you.

If you're 25 and above, you need a more intentional man.

Stop wasting your time chatting endlessly with strange men online, and thinking that you're in a romantic relationship.

Some dey use your nudes to do soapy.

A serious minded man will make moves for you to see him.

And if he's not pleased with your physical appearance (in real life) or your aura, he will kill the communication afterwards.

And some, may pretend all the way until they chop you.

Once you're 27, you have no business trying to start a relationship with a man that has not rented his own apartment, no matter how little.

And any relationship that has lasted at least 6 months and the man is not showing signs of wanting to know you, your family and seeing you as a potential wife, then you need to start reconsidering that relationship.

Do not say because you do not want your body count to increase, then you stay in a fruitless or hopeless relationship.

Your body count is your personal score.

As long as you did not accumulate them through prostitution.

Most men will never accept to be in a sexless relationship.

And that's why most men will accept to marry non-virgins.

They don't have any choice.

If they want to marry virgins, they too should remain virgins.

AJD.

[KING J @OkahChimene]

@ekelemefavour1 Congratulations to you my bro.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

A wife that serves you with more than one piece of meat most of the time, is doing so because she and the children have more than enough to eat.

Let me break it down.

Sometimes, a man does not need to check his bank balance to know whether he is doing well as a provider.

He can simply pay attention to the atmosphere in his home.

When your wife can cook without constantly calculating whether the food will reach everyone, that is something.

When the children can eat until they are satisfied without hearing, "Leave that one for tomorrow," that is something.

When your wife can replace basic household items before they are completely finished, rather than stretching everything to the last drop because there is no money to buy another, that is something.

When the children need shoes for school and the conversation is about getting the right size, not whether the family can afford shoes at all, that is something.

When a minor household repair comes up and it is treated as an inconvenience rather than a family crisis, that is something.

When school expenses arrive and, even if you complain about how expensive things have become, you are still able to take responsibility for them, that is something.

When your wife can occasionally buy something for herself without feeling that she has taken food from the children's mouths, that is something too.

A man who carries the main financial responsibility for his family may not always receive applause.

In fact, much of what he provides eventually becomes ordinary.

The lights come on.

There is food in the kitchen.

The children go to school.

Transport is available.

Rent gets paid.

Life continues.

And because life continues, everybody can easily forget what it costs to keep it moving.

But there is another side to this.

Provision should not become a man's excuse for emotional absence.

Paying the bills does not remove the need to listen to your wife, spend time with your children, help when you can, show affection, apologize when you are wrong, and be present in the life you are working so hard to build.

Likewise, a wife who recognizes her husband's effort can make home a place where his contribution is appreciated rather than treated as something he simply owes everyone.

Perhaps that extra piece of meat on your plate is not really about meat.

Maybe it is one small sign that there is enough in the pot.

And sometimes, "there is enough" is one of the quietest victories of a man who has accepted the responsibility of providing for his family.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

And that is why women will always say:

"Did I force you to marry me? You saw me like this & you chose to marry me. Deal with your decision"

A woman will never blame herself for getting married to you.

She'll blame you for choosing to marry her.

Even if she's a bad wife.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Your married blood brother can be envious of you just because he sees the way your wife treats you.

Even if he's richer than you are.

How much more friends?

The kind of woman that you have, defines your personality and your masculinity.

And men must take the blame and glory for the women that they chose to marry or date.

Because men choose, and women select.

In case you're wondering...

To choose is to make a decision.

To select is to pick something carefully from a specific list.

AJD.

[Àgbà John Doe (back up) @jon_d_doee]

Some of you have brothers that are currently footing the bills of girls that they're not married to, and you have not told them that they should stop it.

And some of you that are doing it are currently reading this post.

I just have 3 words for you all.

YOU ARE STUPID!

AJD.