Alex McCormick

I've never been to heaven, but I've been to Oklahoma... STATE!! Go Pokes

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Working title for your autobiography? RT “@JoseCanseco: snitchtit”

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Neal Boortz subbing in for Herman Cain is always fun. But Neal playing Widespread on his show is extra fun

[Coach Metta @MettaWorld37]

She had Nemo in her purse. I reported her to the police for stealing fish and not letting the fish live in water. It was n her make up kit.

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Just saw somebody driving a Camry with a blue rag top. Throw some swangers on it and people might think it's a caddy if they squint

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

@aaronwinfrey movin like Bernie

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Sorry brah... Zoned out on the crunch

[Doug Benson @DougBenson]

"I will disappear your milk shake" -David BlaineView @peteholmes #lazer

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

I wish someone could give me a definitive answer about how well Justin Gilbert is gonna play this year. That's really all I need to know

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Think I figured out the plot twist on the end of Sherlock season 2 when I accidentally inhaled glue fumes today

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

What's Kendrick's name on snapchat? I'll show him what's really hood. He can't touch my 10 seconds flows

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

When did country musicians become pussies?

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Sorry, but megaLULZ RT “@Deadspin: Curt Schilling reveals he suffered a heart attack at age 44: http://t.co/VaoXkgadCO”

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

@NebergallNation quit lying. You're splinter 7 days a week

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

I had a dream last night that Julia Louis-Dreyfus tried to stab me, but Channing Tatum saved my life

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

"I feel like I'm herding cats... Which would be awesome."-Shelby Renberg

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Pretty sure I broke my dick trying to ride a mechanical bull last night. Don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

I like my job, but it's really irritating when it's 9 in the morning and I have no idea what I'm doing today. I'm a pro at hurry up and wait

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Mildly Delicious of you

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

When did Mike Gundy get fat?

[Alex McCormick @OKMcCormick]

Shark Week gets worse every year, but I still watch it