slim pickins

trying his best

[Hello @VeinRichard]

I come from old monkey

[Solzhenixon @sardonic_greek]

“I contemplate Augustus Gloop, the moment in the chocolate river… the idea of allowing your own chocolatification”

[For Sale: Gender Reveal Tire, Lightly Used @SparrowAdorer]

"So what's your take"
"This subway should be filled with sarin, a deadly nerve agent"
"100% disagree"

[faget83629031852 @faget9261530128]

Had a dream some guy got hung and he stayed alive for 3 months by eating m&ms in his pocket

[Skid @WhoisSkid]

damn

[Mark @AgingRanchHand]

Drinking really is a sitting or standing activity. If you're laying down drinking that's approaching hobo in a rail car status

[🔟,0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ @tenthousund]

my penis made a wheezing noise then fell off onto the ground

[Allison Online 💾 (50 Hours Free) @IceStationSpmda]

If you drink precisely enough while playing pool you start to see trajectories and overlays and shit

[Jack @FuneralDrinker]

Just ate some bacon from Dollar Tree and now my neck won’t turn

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

we got 5 dollar gas and they're just dumping heavy cream into the mountain dew its lit

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

Billions of years ago, Mother Earth and Father Time had a child - Life.

(Freeze frame, record scratch) But now, they just had their second child. Introducing Paul! He's a fast wet rock

[im unc @bl1sterex1sts]

The little 30 year old that could

[Mo @fruitpibble]

computa make it stop

[slim pickins @old_clockwise]

@scrumbo3 Natural rubbercels vs. synthetic rubberoids losing it over the porosity diff

[slim pickins @old_clockwise]

Time flies

[Speedway Screens @SpeedwayScreens]

every once in a while Reddit is pretty great

[accepter of fate🇵🇸 @letsgaymets]

a dead bird has fallen on the field next to carson benge and he is being heckled to pick it up

[Sprocket Springberry @sabatonfan69]

Did Icarus have his dick out while he was plummeting towards the sea? Feel like it changes the mental image for me. I feel like a little toga or whatever the fuck would’ve just flown off. Just embarrassing. Whole dick out and worse than that his hubris

[Khem Birch Society @NBABabySecret]

.@Eminem what about an album called Magic the Mathering?