alxs

permanently annoyed

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

I went to In-N-Out and ordered a cheeseburger. The cashier, a calm young woman named Destiny, asked me a question I did not expect.

"You want that Animal Style?"

I paused.

I did not know what this meant. But a samurai does not admit he does not know. So I answered with weight.

"...Animal Style."

"Cool. So that's mustard-grilled, extra spread, grilled onions, pickles. Yeah?"

I understood now. This was a sacred permission. For one meal, I was being told to put down my manners at the door. To eat the way a beast eats, without shame. I had waited my whole life for someone to give me this order.

"Yes," I said. "I will become the animal."

Destiny did not blink. "...Okay. You want your fries Animal Style too?"

I stopped. Even the potatoes?

"The potatoes also become animals?"

"I mean, they get cheese and sauce and grilled onions, so..."

"Then yes. Let the potatoes abandon their restraint as well."

"...Got it." She was the calmest woman I have ever met. "3x3, 4x4, or just the one?"

I did not know these numbers, but I knew a challenge when I heard one. "How many must I face?"

"It's, like, how many patties you want."

"How many is the most honorable?"

"...Four is a lot."

"Then four. A warrior does not ask for fewer."

She wrote it down without argument. A 4x4, Animal Style, with animal fries. She warned me once, kindly. "That's gonna be huge." I told her I was counting on it.

It arrived. It was a tower. Cheese and sauce ran down my hands the moment I lifted it. There was no clean way to eat it. There was no dignified way. That was the entire point.

I ate it like a beast. Both hands, no honor, grilled onion on my chin, and I have to be honest with you, it was the best thing I have ever put in my mouth.

For thirty years I have kept my manners at every table in the world.

They handed me a burger and told me to be an animal, and I have never felt so free.

So tell me, America.

The whole country knows the secret menu. What else are you hiding in plain sight?

And "Animal Style." Was I eating the animal, or finally becoming one?

[Anna 🇺🇸 @realAnn_29]

Ha! World Cup visitors are still losing it over everyday America here is another round of things that have them wide eyed and posting nonstop:

Self serve ice machines in every gas station and fast food spot. Europeans are filming themselves filling cups the size of their heads while saying this is witchcraft. One guy from Spain called it the most American invention ever.

Texas Roadhouse with the endless fresh bread and cinnamon butter. Visitors are clearing out multiple baskets before the entree even arrives. They just keep bringing more? For free? I am never leaving.

Pharmacies inside grocery stores. Walk in for milk walk out with prescriptions shampoo and a birthday card. A French fan said it felt like one building solved my entire to do list.

Massive parking lots everywhere. Stadiums malls even restaurants have seas of asphalt. People from dense cities are shocked you can actually park for free without circling for an hour.

All you can eat buffets and bottomless brunch. One Korean visitor posted from Golden Corral: I ate for three hours and they smiled at me. This country runs on abundance.

Recliner seats in movie theaters with huge screens and buttery popcorn the size of buckets. Visitors are comparing it to flying first class on the ground.

Sweet tea so sugary it makes your teeth hurt in gallons. Southern hosts keep refilling it and fans are politely pretending they can handle it while secretly vibrating.

Drive thru car washes that are basically theme park rides. Lights soap shows and your car comes out sparkling in 5 minutes. A Brazilian said even my car feels American now.

Amazon deliveries the same day or next morning. Packages just appear. One German posted a timelapse: Ordered at midnight here at 9 a.m. What is this sorcery?

Roadside attractions and random giant statues. The Worlds Largest Ball of Twine giant roadside dinosaurs or a 50 foot cowboy boot. Visitors are detouring for selfies like it is the Eiffel Tower.

Tailgating culture before games. Grills games music and strangers sharing food in parking lots. International fans are getting adopted by locals with brisket and beer.

And the random how yall doing today? small talk from cashiers Uber drivers and hotel staff. Many say they expected cold or rude instead they are getting genuine warmth and hope you enjoy the match!

At the end of the day we Americans do not always realize how much these little things stand out. We grew up with the scale the convenience and the casual friendliness so it feels normal to us. Seeing the world light up over it reminds us how lucky we are and makes us even prouder to share it with all of you.

Keep sharing your reactions visitors. This is the good stuff. 🫶🇺🇸

[C3 @C_3C_3]

I hope these poor children didn’t starve once USAID was cut.

[Mike Benz @MikeBenzCyber]

Riddle me this, @RoKhanna. If closing USAID could cause so many child deaths in Africa, why would the African Union's top diplomat in DC celebrate USAID's shutdown? Does she like dead babies? Is she ignorant? How else do you explain her arriving at the same conclusion as DOGE?

[Dan Labbe @dan_labbe]

I’m worried the Pennsylvania Turnpike will destroy all the goodwill this country has built up with Freddy.

[The Redheaded libertarian @TRHLofficial]

Scottish guys getting on the airplane home after the World Cup.

[C3 @C_3C_3]

Nationwide Court injunctions:

4 years of Carter: 2
8 years of Reagan: 12
4 years of H Bush: 6
8 year of Clinton: 12
8 years of W Bush: 6
8 years of Obama: 12
4 years of Biden: 14

44 years of previous Presidents there were 64.

5.5 years of Trump: 101

Activists hiding in Robes.

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

A White female doctor in Georgia was STRANGLED, SE*UALLY ASSAULTED, then had her THROAT SLIT by a Black man with 40+ PREVIOUS CHARGES.

ZERO coverage from:

-NYT
-CNN
-WaPo
-MSNBC
-NPR
-Reuters
-Axios
-ABC
-PBS

EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. COVERED. GEORGE. FLOYD.

DO YOU GET IT YET?!!!

[T-Pain @TPAIN]

I literally don’t play soccer

[Kosher @koshercockney]

I always feel it’s important to remind people of this extremely powerful photograph.

Women marching against the mandatory hijab law imposed by the Islamic Republic takeover in Iran, 1979.

These women deserve better.

[Nature 🦜and Music 🎶 @GuGi263]

Someone explains the concept to you for the third time, but you still don't understand.

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

This doesn’t expire. The kind of post you can repost in 2026, 2030, or whenever the meltdowns return.

[Matt Gaetz @mattgaetz]

Take Greenland by force if necessary.

I had no idea the upside.

[Trumps Nephew @ForgiatoBlow47]

If you hate Trump so much that you destroy an American monument he was trying to repair, please self deport... no one wants you here.

[Matt Van Swol @mattvanswol]

There is infinitely more outrage in the media today about a DUCK in the Reflecting Pool…

…than there ever was about my neighbors in Western North Carolina living in tents in the cold after Hurricane Helene

That’s so messed up.

[Gain of Fauci @DschlopesIsBack]

Reminder that one of the Democrat’s top 2028 presidential candidates actually thinks that Venezuela is “below the equator.”

AOC is retarded.

[Sean Davis @seanmdav]

Since playing loud videos and music on speakerphone in public is apparently a thing we do now, I’m finna start blasting Trump speeches whenever I encounter this behavior from now on.

[Throwback Iran @Tarikh_Eran]

An Iranian fan holds a sign asking: “Where is Rashid Mazaheri?”

Rashid was Iran’s former goalkeeper who was abducted by the IRGC back in January after he spoke out against the regime’s senseless killing of protesters

We wont let the world forget 🇮🇷

[Jay’V @JayVTheGreat]

Y’all believe this but not the story of the 250k girls getting raped in the UK?