Livia Bernard

truly a masterclass in harrowingly strained enthusiasm!

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

primordial crackers in my soup

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

sorry babe, not tonight, i’m playing catan on the ipad

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

having my only claw clip break on me while in maine is a little like being stranded on a desert island

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

oh beatrice the dumpster cat, how i love thee

[sable @fruitdotcom]

the common 8-year old girl experience

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

the youtube pilates teacher is gonna show up at my apartment with a g*n bc i dropped my arms between movements

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

i’m very excited for this slime renaissance

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

“man was not meant to gaze upon himself” blah blah blah. i don’t care i wanna take silly little pictures to post

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

okay girly, but why was your weight relevant to the depop listing 🤨

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

abt to tell the boyfriend he isn’t a feminist because he isn’t seeing barbie with me 🤧

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

@JakeBacigal someone beat me to it, life goes on

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

if one more person hurts my feelings i’m buying the vintage coach bag from depop

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

@JakeBacigal thanks for your support man

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

@maddey1246 he’s testing your resolve

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

little edie is my joan of arc

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

can you imagine living in the same apartment complex as one of those tiktokers who rolls glass bottles down the stairs ??

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

the other girls on the train platform are gonna bully me if i don’t buy those adidas sneakers asap

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

sometimes i just check his location and wonder if we’re looking at the same moon

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

i know that lady did not just add EGGS to her mustard and cottage cheese horror show

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

having worked in the service industry for such a long time really nails home how embarrassing it is to be a customer, i walk into the whole foods and just start apologizing to anyone i see in a green vest

[Livia Bernard @oliviaLbernard]

so here’s the plan: shave my legs before boygenius (just in case) but spend the entire show looking disinterested and reading a book so they know i’m not like other girls