Butt Naked

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[Butt Naked @OngaroSimon]

@itskipronoh Who is this guy behaving like embarambamba.....? Such a half baked political analysis. Useless 😔😔

[Levi Munyeri @LeviMunyeri]

It is only in Kenya that a suspect of crimes against humanity thinks he has a moral advantage over his political rival because he drinks alcohol.
In solidarity with @edwinsifuna post your favorite photo drinking alcohol.

[Jay Jay @nyongesahj]

Your CRE notes are not superior to the Bible,

Nor the Hadith superior to the Quran.

No Manifesto is superior to the rule of law and the Constitution.

Brains at work here.

Mkiskia H.E @edwinsifuna akiongea mambo ya constitutionalism, he knows what he's talking about

[Nelson Havi SC @NelsonHavi]

Miguna Miguna is most ungrateful in his unjustified and unwarranted criticism of Edwin Sifuna. Sifuna was the first responder when Miguna was seized that Friday morning.

Sifuna, myself and many other volunteer Advocates risked our lives fighting for his liberty from March 2018 until 20th October, 2022 when he received his passport and went straight to State House to celebrate with the people who had oppressed him.

For the record, Sifuna went as far as raising funds from well wishers to support our fight for Miguna. Miguna is a monumental disgrace and shame to humanity as well as the legal profession.

[Butt Naked @OngaroSimon]

@nyanchwani This is the kind of creativity that keeps me glued to this X platform, sparing me the agony of encountering random, uncouth Forex boys who use unfathomable jargon to sell their so-called “art.”

[Silas Nyanchwani @nyanchwani]

October started on a sad note. In the space of three days, the world lost two great authors, Cheikh Hamidou Kane and Jeffrey Archer. Then Toni Braxton went on social media and casually announced that she is “damn near 60.”

Damn near 60. Toni Braxton. Nothing prepares you for a world in which Toni Braxton is one birthday away from 60. That was not supposed to happen. Who was on duty? How did we let it happen? Was there no protocol for this?

Growing up, we didn’t have Instagram or TikTok. To be cool, you had to read. As teenagers, we kept score of how many Jeffrey Archer and Sidney Sheldon novels we had finished, the way young people today count followers. We were patriotic too, so we read the Spear Books from East African Educational Publishers—the series that put John Kiriamiti, Mwangi Ruheni, and my favourite, Mwangi Gicheru, on the map.

But music is where the real love was.

And Toni Braxton made good music. Back then, if your girl didn’t like Toni Braxton, you knew you were dating a mumu. No cap. Toni was the coolest of them all in the ’90s. She had the finest contralto of her generation; she was breathtakingly beautiful and the subject of many a young man’s dreams—none of them clean.

In 1996, at 28 and dangerously sexy, she dropped that golden album, Secrets, wrapping her smoky, sensual voice around some of the greatest slow jams and sweeping ballads R&B has ever produced. I still remember that green cassette. We played the hell out of it until the tape begged for mercy and then kept playing it anyway. Watch the video for “Un-Break My Heart” and name one woman sexier than Toni in it. I’ll wait. That Diane Warren ballad spent eleven weeks at number one on the Billboard Hot 100, sold more than ten million copies, and Billboard later crowned it the most successful solo-artist song in the chart’s first forty years. It is a scandal that the video still hasn’t crossed a billion views on YouTube. Fix it. I’ve done my part.

Also on that album were two of my favourites: “I Love Me Some Him” and “Find Me a Man.” In the 1990s, a woman could sing about love and desire and still leave something to the imagination. That was before Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion arrived and set the place on fire.

But let me take you back to 1993, when a 25-year-old Toni dropped her eponymous debut and changed music forever. A year earlier, she had stood in for Anita Baker on the soundtrack of Eddie Murphy’s Boomerang. Remember that name; it returns later. Before Toni, there was Gladys Knight, of course, Etta James, and my Anita Baker. After Toni, there has never been anyone like her. Some will throw in Fantasia, Amy Winehouse, or Brandy. That is where tutakosana.

That debut deserves a minute. Where do I start? Let’s try “Breathe Again.” That song will still sound fresh in 2669. It is one of humanity’s greatest inventions, on a par with the aeroplane, the polio vaccine, blow jobs, beer, and the internet. I ration the black-and-white video to once every four years, like the World Cup, because a man must protect his heart. Then there’s “How Many Ways.” I preferred the remix with R. Kelly’s ad-libs—sad that his career ended the way it ended.

Then there’s “Seven Whole Days”: cool, unhurried, and an accurate portrait of a relationship gone completely cold. It is the anthem of nonchalant men like me, who can go a whole week without calling, texting, or reaching out, and then act surprised when the vibe has shifted. The bridge is iconic and explosive. Add “Another Sad Love Song,” “You Mean the World to Me” (those instrumentals, man), and “I Belong to You,” and you have a collector’s item.

Despite being the most beautiful woman in the world, Toni Braxton spent an entire career crying and begging for love, and I suspect her songwriters jinxed her. She dated Shemar Moore, who appeared in the “How Many Ways” video. She was linked to Eddie Murphy, though both insisted they were just friends. She spent twelve years married, at least on paper, to Keri Lewis of Mint Condition. Then she did the unthinkable: she married Birdman.

They wed quietly in August 2024. Two days later, she filed for divorce. Five months later, she withdrew the petition. They remain married, and this August she marked their second anniversary. Not a single person I know endorsed this union. Not a single person I know has ever said, “They make a cute couple.” I am not convinced even Birdman thinks it is right.

Here’s my confession. Had I been born with powers, I would have frozen Toni at 28, somewhere between Secrets and that green cassette, and she would have stayed there forever, untouched by birthdays, by Birdman, and by the tyranny of arithmetic. And in a fair world, a boy from Kibera would have flown to Severn, Maryland, with two goats and a delegation of uncles to negotiate bride price with her father, a minister. We would have left the crate of Tusker at the airport. She would have sung “Breathe Again” to me every morning. I would have gone seven whole days without calling her, and she would have forgiven me. Kelly Rowland came later and stole my heart, but a man never forgets his first love.

That is the world we live in. Toni can marry Birdman, grow old, and announce it casually, without preparing us. She was supposed to remain somewhere between 28 and perfect. We were not ready.

[Mbiti Mwondi Maino,MD @mbiti_mwondi]

I once again said if you have no reason to vote out this government just look at your sick friend or relative and the challenges they’re going through.
Poor Healthcare and healthcare systems is a single reason enough to send Ruto,Duale and their cronies home!!

[THEE ALFA HOUSE @thee_alfa_house]

"Nadhani kitu ambayo inafanya kazi vizuri kwa hospitali ni mochari."

DJ Shiti LOSES his cool and UNLOADS on SHA at the burial of his father.

[Makhanu W. Oliver @MakhanuWOliver]

Yesterday evening, @citizentvkenya did some of God's work. Walifinya RAIS WA LIES shingo akashindwa kupumua. Waiting for the government mandarins to go & demonstrate hapo Royal Services. God bless you, @YvonneOkwara #Wantam

[Butt Naked @OngaroSimon]

@CaptainDominicO This Prezzo type of guy still thinks he leaving in the 90s when he was famous. Such a useless guy.

[Butt Naked @OngaroSimon]

@Mwafreeka Aya!!!! He has a degree? The only thing I hear from him is Starehe. The guy is so excited of that underperforming institution, which died with Griffin.

[IVY @ivymuthe]

The boda boda sector is producing very obese men. These riders hardly ever walk. In the morning they eat chapati with tea loaded with three spoons of sugar. At lunch it’s chapati and beans. At 4pm it’s more tea with three spoons of sugar and mandazi. And they drink Predator energy drink all day.

[🐉🏍️ @Kamau266]

Ozempic itatumalizia baddies yawa badala ikule mafuta kwa mwili inavamia uso.

[Mark Bichachi @MarkBichachi]

Kenyans, you decided Monday is the day, we have grown to 1.5 mill. Kenyans are such lovely people. I can’t thank you enough for helping me out. Keep sharing, keep helping however much or little it is, is is getting us closer and closer. I can’t thank my friends in mombasa who have donated the largest amount of any team.

[Mark Bichachi @MarkBichachi]

Thank you so much for hitting one million. I need another 1.5 to make 2.5 mill. With your support I’m getting there. I share my cocktail of medication to give you a visual reminder of the pressures I face daily. Taking that much medication is taking a toll on me. I pray to get relief soon.

[Silas Nyanchwani @nyanchwani]

Many people who support Ruto cannot understand the near-universal, countrywide love and support for Edwin Sifuna as the United Opposition's potential flagbearer. People have drawn parallels to the Obama-Biden ticket of 2008, with Kalonzo picked to deputize him as an elder statesman and rein him in whenever he goes off the rails. The youth and their ways, you know. Kalonzo's vast wisdom as a career cabinet minister and one-time Vice President will also come in handy to bridge any gaps in executive experience that Sifuna may have, which I doubt, as Sifuna is learned and qualified.

Conversely, the dislike (hatred, for some) of Ruto is twofold, total and irreversible. People dislike Ruto as a person. There was a time when his recreational lies were dismissed as political nonsense, and his political and mobilization skills were needed to contain Raila as the enemy of the Mountain; the love was incidental. Ruto is also disliked as the emblem of the old, diseased, pathological order that has run and ruined Kenya since independence. He is the worst personification of KANU. He could give each Kenyan a million shillings, and people would still vote for Sifuna.

In June 2024, we crossed the Rubicon, also in two ways. It was the day any residual grace people had for Ruto ended, and his actions since then have not made it easier for those who dislike him to rethink their stance on him and his regime, despite his best efforts. June 2024 was also not merely about Ruto; it was the day Kenyans decided to end tribalism. Tribalism will not end in 2027 or 2032, but the seeds of its uprooting were planted, and it is now possible in our lifetime for a young Bukusu man to be seen as a contender for State House. Even a Matiang'i candidacy was pointing in this direction.

And in the likely event that Sifuna wins in 2027, he will make it possible for professionals and other patriotic Kenyans to join politics again and help rid our politics of the charlatans who have been running the show.

Sifuna is likable. If a good section of ODM no longer holds him in deep admiration, it is all down to timing. The lakeside support for Ruto, which seems genuine, is perfectly understandable. The Lake endured all manner of abuse, and the conduct of Moses Kuria, Ndindi Nyoro and Rigathi Gachagua over the last decade makes it extremely difficult for the Lake and the Mountain to be on the same side of politics. We cannot be academic and politically correct about it. The Lake feels justified in their love for Ruto because it feels represented, and the Lake's intelligentsia have been waxing poetic about the material and tangible benefits Ruto has brought the region. Their support for Ruto is not unlike the Mlima support for Ruto in 2022. Who displaces whom in the new government remains to be seen, but I have realized that many people don't like such idle speculation, and only in retrospect are some of us branded prophetic. But I digress.

Lemme tell you. Sifuna is so loved, and while I predicted his presidential bid back in 2017, the timing of the events leading to his likely candidacy has surprised me as well.

I was in the village recently, and while taking a boda boda to visit a relative across two ridges, I ran into old schoolmates who teased me that I should vie. Chocha tu, but some did mean it, and I asked them, "With what party, seeing as Matiang'i may already have a person in the constituency?" Almost in unison, the young men told me, "Go with Sifuna."

This was deep in Kisii, deep in Matiang'i territory. Mark you, the young men were not opposed to Matiang'i in any way. If anything, they want to see the two partner in one way or another. But they had nothing but love for Sifuna.

Across the board, I have lots and lots of Luo friends who support Sifuna. Lots of Kikuyu friends who support Sifuna. Lots of Kamba friends who tell me that if Kalonzo dares to join Ruto, he will be moving in alone, because the rest will move on to Sifuna. I have lots of friends at the Coast, in North Eastern, the North Rift, Mt. Kenya East, and everywhere in Kenya who talk about Sifuna's candidacy as an antidote, an elixir to the madness that runs Kenya today.

The love is organic. The last man Kenyans loved this way died about a year ago, and the only person to inherit his courage, charisma, wit, intelligence, and political ethos is Edwin Sifuna. The love is hopeful, and it comes from all generations. It is not just youthful idealism that has elevated Sifuna to where he is. Even older Kenyans who understand what their generation has wrought on the country welcome Sifuna as a breath of fresh air.

Ruto can run around the country launching all manner of things, but he is like a husband who has been caught cheating; when the wife confronts him, he says, "But I bought you a Range Rover."

Now, for sure, some wives will accept a Range Rover, or some other material bribe, and look past the man's infidelity.

But most wives will demand better. For them, infidelity means far more than anything money can fix. It means disease, curses, and all the bad things that a lack of integrity brings to a family.

Kenya is a materialistic country, and there will be no shortage of people for whom material things matter more than integrity, but most Kenyans, like all the good wives, cannot be bribed with a Range Rover. Like a good wife, they want accountability from their husband and the father of their children. As husband and father to the people of Kenya, Ruto has betrayed that trust.

Sometimes you really want to give him grace, to understand, or overstand, that he is human. And then he goes to a rally and opens his mouth. He has no healing voice. He has no reconciliatory tone. He has no love. He has no caring attitude. For him, all people want is project after project.

But beautiful roads are useless when people sleep hungry. A refinery is useless if the education system is in shambles. Houses are useless if the healthcare system lies in ruins.

A few bloggers touting his projects cannot mend the broken social contract.

Their insults will not turn collective dislike into sudden love.

Their frustration will not change much.

Sifuna's rise remains inevitable.

And don't let anyone lie to you and say he's going nowhere.

You have not heard Ruto mention my name anywhere. Do you know why? Because I don't matter. But if he mentions someone at every rally, know that that person is his nightmare.

I hope the opposition can take us back to basics. To being human. You know, fix what matters first. Food. Education. Healthcare.

And then, make it possible for all of us to dream again.
You can trust me on this.

NB: Beware of angry trained bots.

[Butt Naked @OngaroSimon]

@Juma_Mwanzau Kali

[Douglas Lwanga @DouglasLwangaUg]

Recounting the time he travelled to the USA for treatment, Chameleone has disclosed that he did not have anyone to accompany and care for him while there. His brother Pallaso had shows in South Africa, while their mother did not have a visa so they couldnt escort him. At such short notice, Weasel was the only one who had a USA visa, and he willingly accepted to accompany him without thinking twice.

While in the USA, Juliet Zawedde, who had offered to help facilitate Chameleone’s further treatment, provided them with a basement equipped with one bed, sofa, a pool table and other forms of entertainment.

However, throughout the nearly four months extending to freezing winter while Chameleone was ill & receiving treatment, Weasel chose to sleep on the couch and take care of him. In appreciation of the sacrifice, Chameleone has extended deep appreciation, acknowledging weasel for putting aside his own comfort & happiness missing christmas,valentines day without his wife Teeta Sandra, to stand by him during one of the most difficult periods of his life. #Gratitude #NBSAfter5

[The Kenyan Vigilante @KenyanSays]

“They killed and buried the mganga at Lang’ata after he exposed Kakamega Governor Fernandes Barasa,” — Cleophas Malala.