ethab

living off a steady diet of government cheese

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Love when restaurants put out free appetizers

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Me: *has seasonal allergies*
My dog: *sneezes*
Me: I knew you were my child

[ethab @Online_ethan]

The wii game cooking mama: world kitchen is based on my life

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Confession: when they let us check each other’s hair for lice in elementary school I did not try my hardest

[ethab @Online_ethan]

When’s live action chicken little coming out?

[ethab @Online_ethan]

@CaucasianJames Sorry, I was stuck in traffic

[ethab @Online_ethan]

How do I know if I have a TikTok or not?

[ethab @Online_ethan]

In case you were thinking of getting me a birthday present I’m a Lands End women’s large

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Every dads camera roll is a photo series of clash of clans strategy, fish, their neighborhood after mildly abnormal weather events, and dead animals they saw on the side of the road

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Can’t believe my mom went to the Rob Thomas concert without me

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Yeah I got thicc, next question

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Bought full fat milk at the store today cuz I’m tryna be thicc by mid-late May

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Adult moment of the day: just bought 3lbs of cream cheese

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Just eatin triscuits while I take a bath

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Nobody:
Susan Boyle: *dreams a dream*

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Nobody:
Susan Boyle:

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Slowly accumulating all thrift store Susan Boyle CDs

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Why are there always Susan Boyle CDs in thrift stores? I don’t know why anyone would ever get rid that

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Pretty crazy that all of our tax money goes to Dick’s sporting goods

[ethab @Online_ethan]

Perfect date: we go to the splash pad

[ethab @Online_ethan]

The only time the world has collectively cried was during Ella enchanted when Ella had to write a letter to prince char saying she had to leave right before the coronation ball when char was going to propose