Opta MNF

Opta decided it would be a good idea to do pointless statistics based on 6-a-side football played by amateurs from Chippenham... So here we are!

[Opta MNF @OptaMNF]

0. The amount of actual stats @mnfratings considers when rating the player's performance. Bullshit.

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While the take over is being denied by @jphillimore in the media, Opta MNF can confirm talks are underway. Undercover.

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Rumours circulating that @jphillimore is interested in taking on the WNF dictators role. Monopoly.

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“@Banouby: @OptaMNF please can you state in your bio that you are not affiliated with Opta! as per twitter rules and regs. Cheers.” LOL

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Sorry about the last tweet. Sometimes even Opta gets it wrong.

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100 - @robsmith01 was involved in 100% of his teams goals. Benteke.

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4. It takes @arthurs33 4 seconds to turn 180 degrees. Cruise ship.

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4. @njonno_85 managed 4 moans per minute last night, with a 89% moan completion rate. Pilkington.

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25. @rabbsy001's 'attacking' header propelled 25 meters into the air. 50p.

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2. The number of footballs @lphillimore managed to hoof in to Chippenham town centre this evening. Rabbsy.

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11. Upon his return to MNF @arthurs33 couldn't only manage an 11% pass completion rate. Off par.

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17. The number of different body parts @SamBaker3110 used to block and intercept the ball tonight. Face.

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7. The number of seconds it took for @robsmith01 to turn 360 degrees in his Zindane-esque "la roulette" skill. Milk.

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8. @rabbsy001 had to walk 8 miles to retrieve the ball he booted into Chippenham town centre at MNF. Lean back.

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1.2. The combined distance of @rabbsy001's 4 goals tonight was 1.2 metres. Poached Egg.

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43. @ctophdrog scored a hat trick in 43 seconds tonight. Clinical

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0. @ctophdrog failed to save a single shot in his spell in goal tonight. Stretched.

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13. @arthurs33 lasted only 13 minutes before resorting to his best Jesus impression in goal for the remainder of the match. Crocked.

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6. 6 of @dique_johnson's 9 shots tonight went wide or over the bar. The 3 on target were converted. Digger

[Opta MNF @OptaMNF]

4. The number of times Bibs FC tried to kill the MNF Giraffe tonight. Endangered.