Joey Optashit

Bringing you all the latest facts, gossip and stats from the world of excrement!!!

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Heavyweight - David Haye doesn't go the toilet before a fight because he doesn't want to get lighter in the ring. Need a poo.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Cuddling shit is not a good idea, no matter how much you like that shit. @BigSeanLovesYou #lessonnumber1

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Sharks are more attracted to human excrement than they are to human blood. #dontshityourself.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Sloppy - If the population of the world did a poo of at least 5cm each, it would become the 2nd biggest ocean in the world.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

http://t.co/ZF1rGR0e #massivetune

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

They can 'poop' up to 1'5 kilograms of excrement per go @UNTRESOR

[Chan @antchandler1]

Would never pay to see the swedes again me, same shit different toilet

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

No one wants to be 'shit' though really. Do they? @OTwizz

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

England does have 'shit'. There's a little fact for you @CrikMaster

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Did you know the quote 'shit yourself' was created after Hitler watched the horror film 'Unnatural'? Put 2 and 2 together.. @MissKatiePrice

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

"Shit!" is the most common reaction to being shat on by a careless pigeon. Irony.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

Lucozade is not an effective replacement for the fluids lost in diarrhoea. Leaky.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

2 - After taking an emergency number 2 in the referee's toilet, Robbie Savage left 2 peas floating in the loo after the flush. Mushy peas.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

19786 - solid turds have been spotted in no less than 19786 porn videos since 2000. Kinky.

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

The average male in Wrexham, North Wales uses 3 sheets of paper on average to wipe clean #Taffy

[Joey Optashit @Optashit]

German Jurgen Volk broke the German national record in 1964 with a 5.6kg dump #ouch