Oskar Owczarek

🇵🇱🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 | Mon ih fucking Dons min

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

when you pull a sicky at work to come in the next day and hear anne say “ah i feel a bit iffy today i must of caught that bug off you” aye nee bother ya lying cunt

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

son just got home. had strange smell on him. told him to empty his pockets. shock. suspicions confirmed. pack of sterling duals. disgrace to the family. i didn’t raise no fanny. this is strictly an amber leaf household. sent him straight to bed with no dinner the fuckin weasel.

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

the neighbours cat shit on my drive one time so i unleashed a clip of bb bullets into him resulting in an assination an a dead cat buried in back garden. when questioned i denied all allegations which lead to a nationwide man hunt with a £50 reward so i dug up cat an claimed £50.

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

don’t get why people go missing why don’t they just walk home

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

back to graft. can’t be fucked. place stinks of despair an bitterness. small talk in staff room is at an all time low. anne asked me if i had a nice christmas. i snapped. told her not to talk to me and that i hope her cat dies. she tears up an told gaffa. disciplinary incoming.

[Daniel Tilles @danieltilles1]

My favourite Polish idioms:

- kiełbasa wyborcza (electoral sausage): a campaign promise with popular appeal

- nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy (not my circus, not my monkeys): not my problem/business

- odgrzewany kotlet (reheated cutlet): an old issue someone is trying to revive

[Daniel Tilles @danieltilles1]

My favourite Polish idioms:

- co ma piernik do wiatraka (what does gingerbread have to do with a windmill): it's irrelevant

- nie rób wiochy (don't make a village): don't be an embarrassment

- można z nim konie kraść (you can steal horses with him): a good, trustworthy person

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

fuck off becky i didn’t give a fuck which disney character you were the first time and a definitely don’t want ya to post it another 3 times cos ya didn’t like the answer ya fuckin skank

[derek @derekedwardsgb]

2019 stats

gear bought : 260g
gear getting paid for : 0g
what will dealers do : fuck all
nights in the cells : 152

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

if you play dance monkey at 11:56:29 PM tonight it’s perfect because the song will end right before midnight in 2019 and we can leave it the fuck there because that’s where it belongs.

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

sons kickin off cos we got no philadelphia cheese for his bagel but lucky for him a haven’t washed my bellend in 3 days🧀

[XBOX UK @xboxuk]

Follow + RT to be in with the chance of winning today’s Christmas Bundle - “Xbox Starter Kit” 🥳

Ends 23rd. T&C’s 🎁 https://t.co/uoO8Pondk6

[Stretford Paddock FC @SPaddockFC]

I prefer not to speak, if I speak I am in big trouble 🤐🇾🇪 #MUFC

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

friday fever. holidays officially begin. picked keith up from work. he double dropped soon as he got in car. started spazzin out in passenger seat. creased. had to pull in lay by so he could whitey. hes currently lyin on side of road but think hes ok. pickin baz up soon. buzzin.

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

gaffa requesting overtime over the busy xmas period. not fuckin likely. a don’t need the extra cash this year cos just won £35 on a scratchy. probs see me through till january. told gaffa me dog died so i can’t cos family is grieving. believed it. mug. call me master of deception

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

told myself i wasn’t getting a bag tonight so i got 3 instead

[FC Barcelona @FCBarcelona]

WHAT A GOAL BY @ANSUFATI! WHAT A GOAL BY @ANSUFATI! HE HAS NOW BECOME THE YOUNGEST GOALSCORER IN @CHAMPIONSLEAGUE HISTORY!

[No Context UK 🇬🇧 @UKNoContext]

put MDMA in nanas tea so she could chew her dinner properly, absolute legend i am