Owolabi Ismail

Quantity Surveyor | Data Analyst | Business Intelligence Analyst

[Gimba Kakanda @gimbakakanda]

Feminism as Hatred of Men

If you look at feminism through the prism of one angry woman, who is probably just transferring the aggression of bitter encounters with the men in her world, you are going to grow resentful of the ideology. Even Chimamanda Adichie, who published a booklet titled We Should All Be Feminists, in which she argued for a world where women are afforded equal dignity and opportunity, and where both boys and girls are freed from restrictive gender expectations, has had to clarify her understanding of feminism. In a well-publicised panel discussion, she said, “I often say to young Nigerian feminists, please do not use feminism to justify your wickedness.” She observed that some of these young women were confusing feminism with nastiness.

A lot of us began as self-admitted feminists but had to take a step back when the movement became perverted in some quarters and turned into an avenue for demonising men without exception. Only a foolish man would support a movement that treats all men as complicit in the oppression of women and promotes hatred of men as some form of enlightenment. The paradox is that you cannot dismantle the patriarchal values and institutions that oppress women without forming alliances with men, because an eye-for-an-eye war between men and women is ultimately an asymmetrical one and, more importantly, a self-defeating one.

In the North, we have had generations of women’s rights advocates such as Hajiya Saudatu Mahdi, who pushed for reforms with grace, wisdom and persistence. None of these podcasting characters can match what such women have achieved in securing the representation of women at the table of opportunities. Their work has helped make it possible that, if you walk into classrooms across the North today, you may be surprised to find more women than men in some of them. They achieved this without any delusional warfare aimed at erasing the man or treating him as the natural enemy of the woman.

To reduce feminism to a debate about who gets to cook at home, when domestic arrangements have historically emerged from economic divisions of labour, family structures, culture and circumstance, is a farce long overdue for retirement. What a woman needs is her dignity and the right to live and make choices that suit her. While those choices include the choice not to cook, they also include the choice of the woman who cooks because her husband provides everything for her, the choice of the woman who prefers to stay at home, and the choice of the woman who wears a hijab. If feminism is truly about agency, then it cannot recognise a woman’s freedom only when she makes choices that conform to somebody else’s idea of liberation.

There is no world in which an advocacy built on promoting hatred of men without any exception is a mark of wisdom, but that is tragically the oil that drives much of the nastiness that qualifies as feminism these days.

[Briana Theroux @brianatheroux]

The Lindsay Clancy case has exposed something I find deeply disturbing about the way people talk about women, mental illness, and responsibility.

Three children were strangled to death by their mother, and somehow a significant number of women have managed to make her the emotional center of the story.

My position on insanity is pretty simple. I do not think insanity fundamentally changes the public safety question.

If you are capable of murdering three children because you are psychotic, you are dangerous.

If you are capable of murdering three children while completely sane, you are dangerous.

The mechanism may be different. The social consequence should not be.

Mental illness can explain behavior. It does not erase the behavior, resurrect the victims, or eliminate the danger that person has demonstrated.

Explanation is not exoneration.

For clarity, I am not in favor of the death penalty for anyone. That is a separate moral philosophy of mine. But I absolutely believe that people who demonstrate that they are profoundly unsafe for a functioning society should be removed from it.

And this was not simply someone impulsively snapping. There was organization and forethought surrounding what happened. Methodical, sustained planning is not a hallmark of an acute psychotic break. Planning alone does not rule out psychosis, but organized behavior, concealment, forethought, and apparent awareness of consequences are all highly relevant when evaluating the claim that someone had completely lost contact with reality. Lindsay displayed all of these.

You do not get to wave all of that away by saying “postpartum.”

And the hormone argument is even worse.

Hormones can influence mood, arousal, anxiety, aggression, sexual motivation, and cognition, often through the lens of preexisting beliefs. But influence is not compulsion. Hormones do not mechanically force people to murder.

If you genuinely believe they do, apply that logic consistently.

A man with high testosterone has biological influences affecting sexual motivation, dominance, and aggression. If he rapes or assaults someone, are you going to say his hormones made him do it?

Of course you fucking aren’t.

And you shouldn’t.

Because biological influence does not eliminate agency.

You cannot demand that women be treated as fully autonomous adults while simultaneously resurrecting the oldest argument imaginable about female biology making us irrational and incapable of controlling ourselves whenever accountability becomes uncomfortable.

And stop conflating postpartum depression with postpartum psychosis.

They are not the same thing.

Women experience postpartum depression every day without murdering their children. Using a woman who strangled all three of hers as some kind of martyr for ordinary women struggling postpartum is not compassionate advocacy. It is unbelievably poorly thought out.

If anything, you are giving vulnerable women another reason not to seek help. Imagine being scared to admit you are depressed, anxious, having intrusive thoughts, or struggling after birth because social media has rhetorically bundled ordinary postpartum mental health problems together with women murdering their babies.

Brilliant advocacy🤡

What disturbs me most is how quickly people can look at three dead children and start constructing a rationale for the adult who killed them. If that is your immediate moral instinct, something is seriously wrong with your priorities and mindset. Seek help yourself. Now.

You can advocate for better maternal mental health care. Please do.

But that does not require turning the person who brutally killed three children into a martyr.

Whether someone is criminally malicious or catastrophically insane, if they have demonstrated that they are profoundly unsafe for other human beings, society has every right to protect itself from them.

And let’s remember, the children should be the center of this story.

Not the woman who killed them.

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

Allahu Akbar!

[Michael Taiwo @AskMichaelTaiwo]

You did not know this, and it will change how you see the planet.

The Amazon rainforest is fed by the Sahara desert.

Every year, roughly 27 million tonnes of dust lift off the Sahara, ride the winds across the entire Atlantic Ocean, and settle over South America.

Hidden in that dust is phosphorus, the exact nutrient the Amazon's soils lose to rain each year. Much of it comes from a single ancient dried lake bed in Chad, packed with the remains of microorganisms that died thousands of years ago.

So the largest rainforest on earth is quietly fertilised by the largest hot desert on earth, thousands of miles away, in near-perfect balance.

The dead lake feeds the living forest. The desert feeds the jungle.

Nothing on this planet stands alone.

Sit with that the next time you think a place, or a person, or a season of your life is useless.

Even a desert is quietly keeping a rainforest alive.

You never fully know what your dry season is feeding somewhere down the line.

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@YusufAsunmogejo @DrJoeAbah I am a Quantity Surveyor and I can tell you for free that this your quote is not feasible.

[القرآن @Quranconnect_]

What reallyis Iman: A lot of people misunderstand what Iman truly is. Subhaanallah, what a beautiful explanation. ❤️

[Alapo @alapo_]

Q: Assalamu 'alaykum warahmotullāhi wabarakaatuhu. Hafidhokumullah Sheikh.

*How can we resolve family relatives and wife relationship in marriages because this is a big issue in marriages Sir?*

Ans: There are usually clashes among our mothers, aunts and sisters, with our wives. The wife sees him and 'my husband', the mother sees him as 'my son'.

Put everyone in their place, and give them their right.

One recommendation I will give everyone of us is that everyone should go and learn about rights. Men learn your rights and the rights of your wife. Women read about your rights.

If you know your right, you'll know your limits. If you don't know your right, you'll call privileges 'right'.

Does your wife have a right that you have to inform her before you do something for your mother?

Go back to knowing these rights to avoid these kinds of clashes.

Give everyone of a right their right.

Place your mother in the place of a mother, place your wife in the place of a wife, and you the husband stay as a husband.

O Wife, you are a wife, don't try to be to him as a sister or mother. O husband, you are a husband, you are not her brother or father.

Put everyone in their places.

Shaykh Abu Nāsir

[Mayowa Sheikhspeare @CoveredInWords]

Surah Yusuf

"I will raise you before those who tried to bring you down, and on that day, your name and status will be honored and distinct."

Surah Al-Baqarah

"Tell My weary and broken servants that I do not burden any soul beyond its capacity."

[Mayowa Sheikhspeare @CoveredInWords]

Ubayd Allah bin Umar narrated, that he (Abu Hazm) said:

“Two things, if you were to act upon them you would achieve the goodness of this world and the hereafter - and I will not be long winded.”

It was said to him: “And what are they?”

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@dimmakilishi This is beautiful.
For educational purposes, can you please give a summary on how the foundation was fixed?

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@High_bee0001 Thank you 🙏🏾

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@OloyeSomorin The materials for stanchion has specifications regarding size and strength which ranges from H-Beam, I-Section. This could be due to the material being weaker than the load it carries or because adulterated materials were used.

[• @Alhamdhulillaah]

O Allāh, all praise is for You.

You are the Sustainer of the heavens and the earth and all that is within them.
All praise is for You.

You are the Sovereign of the heavens and the earth and all that is within them.
All praise is for You.

You are the Light of the heavens and the earth.
All praise is for You.

You are the King of the heavens and the earth.
All praise is for You.

You are the Truth, and Your promise is true.
Meeting You is true.
Your word is true.
Paradise is true.
Hellfire is true.
The Prophets, peace be upon them, are true.
Muḥammad ﷺ is true.
And the Day of Resurrection is true.

O Allāh, to You I submit.
In You I believe.
Upon You I rely.
To You I turn in repentance.
With Your help I strive.
And to You I seek judgment.

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

The

[AWENI ONIBATA(your handmade footwear plug). @AweniOnibata]

Her major life regret would be going for NYSC💔💔

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@mati That’s great. Will you be needing a Data Analyst?

[منيرة بنت عبد السلام 🦋🌷🌼 @_muneeroh]

Some people do not truly understand Qadr.
The very thing you are running away from might be the very thing Allah has destined for you and it may even be good for you.

You may try to avoid it, change direction, or choose another path, but if Allah has written it for you, events will unfold in a way that brings you right back to it.

What is meant for you will never miss you, and what misses you was never meant for you.

Trust Allah’s plan, for He knows what you do not know.

[A.Y.O @YusufAsunmogejo]

This reflects the thoughts I documented in my memoir last night.

After years of reading on parenting, I have found that the men we quote as masters of tarbiyah were not handed righteous children as a reward for their method.

Nuh called to his own son until the water rose, and the boy chose to drown rather than board the ark.

Ibrahim, the friend of the Most Merciful, came from a father who carved idols.

The Messenger himself, salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam, loved his uncle and called him to the truth for a lifetime, yet, he buried him upon disbelief.

If hidayah could be manufactured by good parenting, these are the last homes on earth that would have lost a soul.

But, it cannot because guidance was never in our hands. It belongs to Allah alone.

At the end of the day, what every parenting book will teach you is how to be a gardener. And as a gardner, you cannot determine the outcome.

You will know now to plant with everything you have, and how you can harvest with the One who owns the outcome. You will labour like the outcome depends on you, but trust like it never did.

Parenting is indeed complex!

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@JA_Olaoye Yes

[Owolabi Ismail @Owomail]

@officialladi_T MacBook is the best.