Pablo Spurr

Have a Banana.

[sarah 🇵🇸 @sazza_jay]

You had the Muppets AND Shakira and nobody suggested a Fozzy Bear collab on Waka Waka????????

[Liam Gallagher @liamgallagher]

@anon_opin Yeah but I bet you can’t sing em like a biblical irie celestial Rasta though can ya

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@bIurt99 Give her a break, she's got a tonne of sand being delivered tomorrow.

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@damzychillin Harry Kewell?

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@ReverendCPC Need two new centre backs and a number 6 destroyer. Gakpo needs to go, as does Salah if we can get money.

We have two styles that clash, Klopp's heavy metal and careful build up play. Need to find a balance or pick one.

And Slot is gone in the summer.

[Albie @albieamankona]

I’m dealing with a family emergency, so I won’t be doing broadcast interviews on the John Davidson Tourette’s tic at the BAFTAs story.

Hearing the N word shouted at two of the most successful black actors in the world, on stage at the BAFTAs and broadcast on the BBC, was horrible. It made people uncomfortable. It should have. But it was an involuntary tic from someone who lives with Tourette’s syndrome. It was not chosen. It was not intentional. It was not an expression of belief.

What’s astonishing is watching people who constantly lecture the public about inclusion suddenly abandon it the moment it becomes complicated. The same voices that demand respect for lived experience are now acting as if a neurodivergent man consciously decided to shout a slur for sport.

Tourette’s is a neurological condition. It is not a political statement. It is not a moral failing. You cannot preach DEI and then punish someone for symptoms of their neurodivergence.

Even the Royal Household has previously understood Davidson’s condition. Not even the late Queen was immune to his tics he said “F*ck the Queen” TO HER FACE. If that reality can be accepted there, it should not be beyond the rest of us.

Two things can be true at once. The word is abhorrent. The tic was involuntary. If your commitment to inclusion collapses when it involves neurodivergence, then it was never inclusion in the first place.

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@tpdineen @damsmokedamgood

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@LegacySiu Anelka.

[Sartorial Thug 🍸 @SartorialThug]

The bloke has got that smirk on his face that says "I get between these soaped up bouncers on a regular basis".
Whereas Steve has never got a lady slippy in the knicker department.

[Morgan J. Freeman @mjfree]

After blowing Good’s brains out, Ross…

- Called her a “fucking bitch”
- Walked away briskly
- Drove himself away
- Moved heavy boxes at his house to relocate his family

Daily Mail shows Ross moving a large computer, wearing the same mask as when he slaughtered Renee.

That was within 36 hours.

But yeah “internal bleeding” 🙄

How about the truth: FIRST DEGREE MURDER & HEMORRHOIDS

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@EricIdle I'm going to say this every time we invite people over for dinner. Only you and I will know what this means and that pleases me.

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@ellieq @Mj3114ok Clearly got himself a few sets of Dyson hair equipment. Impeccable flicks.

[Henry Winter @henrywinter]

Re: that statement by South Yorkshire Police Federation which represents all constables, sergeants, inspectors and chief inspectors within South Yorkshire Police. Policing of games has changed hugely, SYP has obviously changed hugely in personnel and there are doubtless conscientious people there who must be horrified at the content and tone of the Federation statement but clearly, sadly, shamefully, some of the old culture remains.

A read through and reaction to the statement which begins…

“South Yorkshire Police Federation is aware of today’s Independent Office for Police Conduct report into the Hillsborough disaster. The report is a significant waste of taxpayers' time and taxpayers' money.” How heartless and offensive. The Federation should have started its statement with a show of compassion and contrition to the grieving families of the 97 people who died in the Hillsborough disaster.

As for "taxpayers' money", people want to know their taxes are spent on police keeping people safe, not putting them at risk. It's not a “significant waste” of money to have “fundamental failures” (IOPC words) of the police highlighted by a watchdog and naming those who failed in their duties.

“It is not fair or balanced.” What’s “not fair” is that the police tried to blame the victims in 1989. What’s “not fair” is that the families have had no justice. It’s also insulting to the IOPC which spent 13 years on the 366-page report.

“Former police officers - some of whom are very elderly and some who have sadly passed away - do not have any kind of due process or the ability to formally respond to the allegations made in this report.” How callous. Try repeating that line about police officers “some who have sadly passed away” to the Hillsborough families still grieving the loss of loved ones. Was similar sympathy accorded them? No. The families were treated disgracefully after Hillsborough.

“These are opinions of the IOPC essentially being dressed up as statements of almost fact. We emphasise that these are just allegations. Our former colleagues do not have and have not had the right to reply to any accusations.” Stop digging. Were the Hillsborough families given the right to reply to police falsehoods? IOPC reported that 100 more police officer statements after Hillsborough were found to have been amended, making it a total of 327 police officer statements amended. Cover-up writ large.

“They should not face trial by media.” Try telling that to the families who endured trial by sections of the media after Hillsborough.

“It is with this context that we should rightly question the value of this much-delayed report and its multi-million pound cost to the public purse.” Again, thoughtless. Judging by this statement, the Federation focuses on time and money. The families focus on justice.

“This report doesn't help anybody involved in the Hillsborough disaster.” How dare those representing the police presume they – of all people – know what would help the bereaved families? Brave relatives campaign in the memory of their lost loved ones. They are trying to ensure this country never endures a disaster like this again and that the follow-up cover-up is never repeated. Full police accountability would help the families.

This report underlines the importance of the Hillsborough Law which involves “a legal duty of candour on public servants and providing legal aid for victims of state-related deaths and disaster”, the Government says.

The final line of the SYPF statement reads… “Our thoughts remain with all those affected by this terrible tragedy.” Finally. If the Federation had just released this short sentence, and deleted all the preceding self-serving, offensive words, its statement wouldn’t have been so widely criticised. #LFC

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@bushontheradio The 'secret' section, where the people working there help you with an item that takes their eye.

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@laurennnn0607 The rest of the party wouldn't see me for the entire night.

[Boris Becker @TheBorisBecker]

My honour

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@bushontheradio Iron Man, Nick Cotton and someone who may be Del Boy.

[Pablo Spurr @PabloSpurr]

@bushontheradio I'm 44 and the last time I vomited was after being forced to eat kippers at age 6. Just looking at those makes me heave.

[Fredrik @F_Edits]

"i hate that it's numerically"

let me present you something even worse: lineup sorted by the word count of each player's English Wikipedia page

[Cathy Beesley @beesley_cathy]

Here you are, you deranged muppet. The most recognizable bread in any supermarket. Draped in a fucking flag. Ubiquitous. Less than £1.50. If you’re missing it, it’s because you’re irredeemably stupid.

No-one is forcing you to buy sourdough, poppet.