Pace Egg

Writer. One hundred words a day, guaranteed.
Maybe destined to inherit the cruellest of all eulogies:
NOT APPRECIATED IN HIS OWN LIFETIME.

[Buddawiggi @MarkBuckawicki]

The real mystery is what are trees doing

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

take her to the vets, said nothing because I didn’t want to make it happen, then regretted it Saturday when she rallied. Yesterday my Mum came to the same conclusion. We were waiting on the vets opening on Monday. Hopefully now she’ll peacefully pass away.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Our cat Scarlet is dying. Friday I was exhausted and the past few days I’ve had to turn a blind eye to her cries b/c there’s been nothing I could do for her. I brought her in after lunch today and now she’s all clapped out. On the way out. I decided on Friday that it was time to

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Just realised that pigeons could never ride the Metrolink like they do the London Tube because the doors don’t automatically open to let them off at their stop.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Later in some meeting with management Prue Leith, who seems to have passed over from the Bake Off, admitted mistakes were made and gave what I think was ten pounds. Pretty sure I was shuffled off the programme shortly after this what with Alan Sugar clearly ruling the roost.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

I dreamt I was on The Apprentice and that Alan Sugar wanted one of the pies I was selling, for his lunch, but would not pay for it, which led to some unpleasantness. He sent goons to follow me around, harassing me, which was presumably whilst I was still filming the programme.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

In the wake of publicity for the new film I watched the original #ScaryMovie last night. I saw it at the Bangor Plaza in 2000 and, quarter of a century later, was surprised how smart it was…for 50 minutes. Then it went downhill, fast, with all the nonsense that stayed with me.

[Yesterday's Print @yesterdaysprint]

The Bangor Daily News, Maine, June 6, 1934

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Hearing from the people with their fancy 4K TVs that America are beaming the pictures back in 525 lines.
#ENGNZL

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

I've finished #ThisIsNotAMurderMystery – a murder mystery with a bunch of 1930s surrealists in a country house – and that title does make sense in the end through reference to the René Magritte painting Ceci n'est pas une pipe…because it’s not a pipe: it’s a painting of a pipe.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

You feel that’s THREE cast members of Buffy the Vampire Slayer now who should not be dead. It’s starting to feel like a cursed show.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Saw a dodgy image of Anthony Head posted on Facebook, feared for the worst, and turned to BBC News to see he has, in fact, died. This was announced by his daughters (Emily and Daisy) so then I thought…but what of his wife? They had a farm. Turns out she died five months ago. 😭

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Remember after the last ECB (entirely predictable) disaster that McCullum & Stokes said that Ben Stokes was the only persons who could Bazball the nation to success. Yeah, I’m glad we listened…two innings successfully completed (12 runs) and he picks up another pay check.

[cheyenne @cheyeyeyeyey]

Please stop announcing the Northern Lights will be visible if they will not be visible to me.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

The Earth has tilted 31.5 inches? Now my bookshelves are no longer straight.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

I had questions about the first episode of #TipToe but seeing some of the unpleasant replies on here about it I think I’ll just pass on the rest of it.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

@graceyldn Whilst we naturally all want to know how much gold this wizard charged you for such a service this incident rang a bell with me. I have an (American) friend who was taking Ambien and one day she found out she’d bought a cardboard cutout of hobbits. This got her on (American) TV.

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Only just learned that England are playing a Test Match today – so low has the very notion of cricket fallen in this country – and New Zealand have us 118 for 8. Good news we kept all those (unaccountable) Bazball chums, eh?

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

Villains don't twirl their mustache like they used to

[Pace Egg @PaceEgging]

Yes, maybe, but I also used to wonder in Primary School if maybe my future wife had not been born yet. God, I hope she’s been born by now or things are going to get a bit awkward.

[Natalie Would @_NatalieWould]

maybe your audience hasn't been born yet