smelly melly

if you still use hotmail, call me

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

if my favorite italian grocery store Pam wanted a twitter they would have to go through me first

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

Just ran through my tweets and guys the way I’m apparently obsessed with Punxsutawney Phil should be studied

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

If it has a screen, AO3 can be seen. So like what are these love islanders doing on their broke ass phones?

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

Panera is so insane for rebranding a sandwhich as a “salad stuffer” in stead of bringing back that fucked up lemonade. CHARGED LEMONADE RETURN TO ME

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

Friends moving away is mostly a curse but also a small blessing. Sometimes you get new furniture from them

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

@divadropoff I <3 u and your drafts

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

@divadropoff Girl YOU don’t remember a time before 9/11

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

@ryanohthree Did you see my new employment post at least

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

The office tipo chicos have disappeared from the fridge which can mean one of two things 1) they were all consumed after I left yesterday or 2) my coworkers are hiding them from me in judgement of my intense gluttony over a sparkle water

[hope hopes hoping @hopes_revenge]

adderall makes me so pliant and submissive . yes i will email you back

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

It is incredibly evil that my firm does not pay through a lunch and learn. I will never be continuing my education ever again

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

Just turned on auto-capitalization. RIP to my youth.

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

gay dad or thot mom?

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

happy six year anniversary to my nipple piercings. through the ups and downs, highs and lows we have really been through it all together. it’s been a wonderful six years, here’s to many more 🍾

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

i failed the test

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

god is testing me. no money with the worlds most serious craving for an overpriced coffee

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

kuro ramen and yuzu lemonade are only a temporary fix but they work super hard at it

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

lesbian pirate her name is Strap Leg and her catchphrase is “scissor me timbers”

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

you can try to rip the new orleans back yard jazz performance with a side of gumbo from my cold dead hands but success will not be guaranteed

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

i’ve never seen boots on the ground journalism quite like that nola news reporter that went out to see if she’d get attacked by that heinous crow and caught its evil assault on camera

[smelly melly @PamLocal]

mom texted asking if i like gold or silver more an hour ago. i just responded now. im so cooked